Bradterview: Chad will see through their shit. This isn't a job Brad should delegate under the circumstances, in my opinion, but let's just get this over with. No such luck; we have to hear about how Brad identified Chad's then-future wife and got them together. That's nice. In the limo, Brad says he's not out to deceive anyone, but at the same time, if one of the girls tells Chad that she loves him -- i.e., Brad -- "isn't that a problem?" Well, you're…on The Bachelor, so if the word "love" is getting thrown around at all, you've got a whole laundry list of fallacies in line ahead of that one, but…fair enough. Brad quizzes Chad on the girls' vitals.
Commercials, then Brad tells Chad again that Chad is responsible for separating the wheat from the blind -- er, "chaff." Brad will watch on a monitor in the limo while Chad bumbles through a charade the Three's Company writers would have rejected as too unbelievable.
Here we go. First up is McCarten. She's not really getting it, although Chad even sounds noticeably different from Brad. I suppose I have an advantage, having seen them together, plus she's nervous, and also Chad is really trying not to look straight at her and get busted, but it still seems really obvious to me. McCarten rambles on about being herself. In the limo, Brad is bummed. Chad starts laughing; McCarten gives him the side-eye, but says nothing, and Chad abruptly excuses himself to go talk to…
…Lindsey. Small talk. Lindsey quizzes him on how long he wants to be engaged for; I feel like she's totally onto him from the jump, for some reason, but it's probably just that the producers told her to ask some pressure-y question. Chad parries. Lindsey asks if he likes outdoorsy activities. He says he does, but then makes another hasty exit, which gets a raised eyebrow from Brad -- and should be getting raised brows from the girls, since Brad himself is ultra-smooth with the transitions. Brad VO: It'll "break my heart" if none of the women figures it out.
Sheena's next. She jokes about the awkwardness, but as soon as he sits down, she senses something off. Chad's not admitting anything, but Sheena notices that his voice is different. In the limo, Brad's all excited: "She knows!" Oh, Brad. The whole thing is so dumb, and yet the fact that he's thrilled that someone finally put it together is sweet, in a weird way. Chad fesses up. Sheena passes on a message, somewhat tearily: she likes Brad, and "I pay attention. To him. And you don't have the weird little patch of blond hair on the ear, that he has." Brad: Hee. Sars: Aw!