This season is only starting this very second but Chris Harrison tells us this is already one of the most shocking seasons in Bachelor history, because Brad Womack once upon a time told a couple of women that he didn't want to marry them. And then this Brad Womack guy tells us that after he sent the women off in the limousine, everything came crashing down like a ton of bricks, because he was alone.
And then he went back to his home in Hell or wherever he is from, and says that he only blames himself for being alone, and he watched the finale and says he looked like a jerk. And he tells us he has panic attacks, and he read all the blogs that called him "self-righteous" and "immature" and all sorts of other things that I guess we're all supposed to feel bad about nailing. "It solidified all of those doubts, and I hit rock bottom," he tells us. "Rock bottom" in this instance means sitting by a waterfall and staring soulfully into the middle distance.
And now he is walking down the street with his hands tucked into the front pocket of his jeans, and he says he wasn't able to work, and then he found an incredible therapist who I imagine told him to grow the fuck up. Oh, wait, he's blaming his dad. "My father let me down more times than I can count. And hell yes, it makes me closed off," he says. Yeah, the guy going on this show inexplicably watched by millions of people, FOR THE SECOND TIME, is telling us how closed off he is. He doesn't know if he's ever let someone know the real him, the real him who leans, shirtless, on railings and balconies. "All that tough guy stuff is just a façade, except my trapezoid muscles are stellar," he says, and then he says he wants to prove to everyone, and himself, that he's changed.
And then he's visiting his brothers' families, who have amazing lives despite not going on The Bachelor. And then Brad's brother Wes is saying that we're going to see a different Brad, and Pamela, Brad's mother, says Brad wants the same thing his brothers have, which does not appear to mean a proper razor. And then Brad's therapist is telling us a bunch of bullshit about stuff while Brad stares at the camera.
And now Brad is moving into the Bachelor mansion and he is saying things about being excited and soul-searching and good news! He's ready to fall in love, and also scramble up mountains and jump-rope and do pushups and run along the beach and jump out of swimming pools. "I want to let a woman in, and I'm ready, more now than ever, to fall in love and find my wife," he says.