Madison sits down with Brad, and he finally asks her about the fangs, which may actually be her real teeth filed down. "If that's her deal, great. If that's a joke, get ride of it," he tells us. Yeah! If you're really a vampire, that's great! If not, get lost! Moron. To his credit, he tells her to her face that he gets the impression that she thinks this is all just a game. That wipes the "mysterious" and "adventurous" smile off her face and she tells him she really does want to be here. Michelle tells us she's concerned by Madison's fangs, because the woman actually carved fangs into her teeth. This may be the most sensible thing anyone has ever said on this show ever. And then she goes and ruins it by talking about how there are a lot of "little girls" around but she's a woman.

She sits down with him and tells him she respects the decision he made on his first season. Then she tells him that she is a woman, not a little girl. Again with that. "Don't worry about committing child rape with me!" She tells him about her daughter, and I kind of like that seemingly half the women this season already have children, because I hope it means we avoid the standard episode where the one contestant with a child has to summon all her courage to tell the bachelor that she has had sex at least one time before, the time that produced the child she has. Brad talks about how awesome it is to be an uncle. "Brad's reaction to me having a daughter was really, really amazing," Michelle tells us, because he didn't cast her out and shun her for having a daughter, I suppose.

It's time to give the first impression rose, and Brad gives it not to any of the amazing women who he thinks it's so amazing that they have children already or the woman who amazingly has fangs or the amazing Southern belle, but to Ashley. Michelle says it's kind of making her sick that she's not getting the first impression rose.

Brad tells Ashley that she's getting the rose because she told him she'd be his friend, which is what he wants in a wife. "I love a good love story, and I feel like this is the perfect fairy tale," she says. Ugh. Any woman who sounds like she's still clinging to the Disney princess mentality that they should have left behind by junior high loses a million points from me.

And now Brad talks about how rough the going was at first, but now he feels like these women, these shrewd and unforgiving women, are willing to forgive him for the fact that he didn't propose to women he didn't want to marry.