And there is Michelle, a hairstylist from Salt Lake City who horrifyingly asks her confused daughter for help finding a husband. She is ready to get married. Since she's in Salt Lake City, I assume she means "again." She says, "I'm doing this for both of us." What? Getting married? Working out? Getting implants? She's the first one to tell us about how other women are intimidated by her, which generally means "other women don't like it when I'm horrible to them." And then she says something about how this guy doesn't know it yet, but she's his wife. Well, at least we know she's crazy. You may notice that despite Harrison telling us women are dying to give Brad a second chance, none of these women mention Brad by name. BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO IDEA THE BACHELOR IS GOING TO BE BRAD.

And we're on to Raichel, from Fullterto, CA, and she is waxing guys' backs and crotches and she describes herself as a "manscaper" so that's all we really need to hear from Raichel.

Meghan of New York City is a "fashion marketer" and then she draws a comparison between finding a husband and shopping for shoes that manages to demean all of humanity.

Next up is Madison, who is a model from Brooklyn, who, like Michelle, defines herself by overestimating how much other women think about her. In this case, she thinks other women describe her as "mysterious" and "adventurous" and she tells us that ever since she was a little girl, which is clearly like two years ago, she has had a "vampire thing" and so apparently she is going to pretend that she is a fucking vampire, and at this point I have to assume that this show's producers sat in a boardroom and looked at the applicants and said, "Let's find contestants who can only make this show even more excruciating to watch." She actually wears fangs and has a remarkably low understanding of how not-interesting everyone actually thinks she is.

Emily is a "children's hospital event planner" from Charlotte. She can plan events only if they include children in hospitals, I guess. She tells us she's had an extraordinary love story: met the love of her life at 15, got engaged at 19. He was a racecar driver, so I think we all know where this is going. Hey, remember how this show thinks its audience is made up of complete morons (in its defence, not entirely without reason)? For the footage of her racecar driving lover, they throw all kinds of dust and scratches and stuff all over the film, like it's a silent movie from the goddamn '20s or something. Anyway, he died in a plane crash en route to a race, and she wanted more than anything to have been on the plane too. So her extraordinary love story is this: I loved someone. Then he died. But wait, there's more! The following Friday, she found out she was pregnant. "I could not have been happier," she tells us. Really? Not even a little bit in the days following your fiancé's death? And now she has this perfect daughter who makes her the happiest person in the world, except for the part about not being married to someone, anyone.