Kimberly, marketing coordinator, Charlotte. Blonde, cleavage, has "serious questions and concerns." Alli, "apparel merchant" from Columbus. So excited to meet Brad. More than willing to give him a second chance, surprise surprise. Ashley the nanny. "Aren't you a tall drink of water," she says. She's not going to hate on him, and she kisses him on the cheek. Jesus, Brad could be Hitler for all these idiots care. She wants to flirt with him some more, and then she grabs his ass. She is clearly drunk.

Meghan the fashion marketer from New York, instantly invalidating her resume by wearing awful ugly pink shoes, which Brad says he loves. She admits to watching his season, which is an awful thing to admit to. Inside, the women talk about Brad's season with an expertise and a knowledge base that I can only imagine they'd bring to talking about the midterm U.S. elections or exit strategies in Afghanistan.

Marissa, a sports publicist from Kissimmee, asks if he's ready for this. He thinks she's going to hit him, but she just wants to know if he's ready to be with someone whose life completely revolves around sports, because NO WOMEN LIKE SPORTS, AMIRITE? and he says, "I love you." Because he is a moron and has fallen for this. Lindsay is a Grade 1 teacher from Plano. "You're back," she says. Then she shakes her breasts at him. Ashley the artist dentist is a hugger, and he calls her beautiful, and she says "welcome back" and hopes he's ready to answer a lot of questions over and over again and she hopes the second time's the charm.

Raichel the manscaper -- no, fuck that. I'm not writing about someone who willingly lists her job description as "manscaper." On the other hand, she is pretty.

Oh, god, it's Madison the vampire model (music turns creepy). She has her fangs in. "You look delicious," she says, and he does not remark on the fangs despite her baring them at him, and he says "Nice name," instead of "nice trendy name" and how weird is it that in fifty years there are going to be kids who have women named "Madison" for grandmothers?

Now Melissa, a waitress from Lake Worth, throws herself into Brad's arms. Playing hard to get, I see. She says she didn't watch Brad's season, which I'm going to assume is a lie. Renee is a nanny from Palos Hills, Illinois (or, as she puts it, "outside Chicago"). I hope she and Ashley don't talk shop all season. She tells Brad that she's excited to meet him.