Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Shack: C | 594 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Grim, Scary Tales

Heather and Aaron arrive at some spa in Santa Barbara. In robes, they head out to some outdoor massage tables. They're told to disrobe and get on the tables. Heather asks if she has to get naked in front of everybody. Aaron stupidly says that it's a "test of [her] skills." I guess Aaron wants to make sure the woman he marries is capable of undressing herself without a major incident. She insists that Aaron go first. Eventually, they both make it onto their tables while hiding their naughty bits under the sheets that were provided for them. They lie on their stomachs, staring at each other, while they get their massages. Heather voices over that they had some sort of intense chemistry. Aaron jokes about slipping the masseuse a $50 to pull Heather's sheet down a bit so he can look at her ass. See, told you he was an ass man. And speaking of asses, clearly the reason we're not going to see Aaron's is because those snooty comments he made in the second episode about Alex leading women on have come back and chewed the sucker right off. After flirting with Heather about seeing her naked and wishing that he were the one massaging her or vice versa, he tells us that it was all just fun, innocent flirtation. Heather tells us all that she can't describe what's going through her mind. But actually, she can: "He is just everything, at this point, to me in my life."

Post-massage, Aaron and Heather head into the hot tub, wearing swimsuits. Heather says, "Before the night ends, I really hope Aaron sees me in the exact light that I see Aaron in. And that he's like, 'You know what? Do we really need to go through the next two rose ceremonies? I have found the girl for me, and that's all I want.'" How do people end up like this? I'd honestly like to know. I can't even wrap my mind around somebody who believes that she's that much in love with this guy who she barely knows. In the hot tub, Heather nibbles on Aaron's neck. She fondles his arm and his chest. In some wonderful editing, Aaron explains to us, "I didn't really feel anything. Wish I did. She's a great girl." Aaron does that non-responsive thing that guys do when they're afraid to tell you that they're not interested and hope that somehow, you will pick up on it. This is different from the non-responsive thing that guys do when they're totally digging you and don't want to say anything stupid that would spoil the moment. How do you tell the difference? If I ever figure it out, I'll let you know. Aaron looks around uncomfortably for an escape of some sort as Heather continues to fondle him. His eyes beckon the cameraman to drop the equipment into the tub. Anything to get away.

Bachelor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP