Bachelor
Cult Of (No) Personality

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Grim, Scary Tales

Next up is Helene. Except for some reason we get Hayley telling us here that she doesn't think Helene and Aaron wouldn't make a good match because Aaron is somebody who "appreciates positive energy and positive attitude." Like yours, Little Miss I Only Talk When I Have Something To Say? She says, "I don't know that Helene is like that all the time." Well, who is? Jeez? Is she trying to say that Helene is a bitch when Aaron isn't around? If so, she should just say so. Christi made similar hints when she was rejected. Just spit it out! Helene tells us that she hopes to get a rose and meet Aaron's family and have him meet hers. Outside, she says that she knows that Aaron's job is important to him and worries that he won't have enough time for a wife. Helene, he's a veep at his dad's bank. He probably spends half the workday golfing, and the other half playing computer golf in his office. Aaron tells us that Helene is smart and "diligent" (I don't think that's the word he actually meant), but that after talking to her, he feels "bruised and battered a little bit." Yeah, she's got all these questions! Do you have time for a wife? What a nag! You'd think she was trying to make an important decision or something.

Next up is Angela. Aaron tells us that he doesn't know her as well as he'd like. He asks Angela a little about her family. She says that her dad was worried that Angela would be legally obligated to marry the bachelor if she won. Heh. See, he's read some reality-show contracts, obviously. Aaron tells us he's impressed about what he's seen of Angela.

Last up is Hayley. Aaron says that she has finally started to "come out of her shell." I hate people who have the idea that we're all naturally bubbly, social people if only we're prodded enough. He compares her to an onion, with the layers and all. Unlike Aaron, who is more like a carrot -- dense and bland. Aaron tells Hayley that he feels like he doesn't know her yet as well as he knows the other women. Hayley says that she needs to forget the whole "process" and the circumstances behind it and recognize that she's there for a reason. Yeah, for us to laugh at. Ha ha! Aaron asks her what her parents would be thinking. Why is he bringing up these women's parents all of the sudden? Oh, I just realized that he must know about the next round, and he's probably deciding between a couple of women based on how he thinks their parents are going to react to him. What a freaking tool. Hayley's dad had a response similar to Angela's. Hayley tells us that now that she's gotten to get to know Aaron better, if she doesn't get a rose, that means it's "personal," because now Aaron really is rejecting her. Aaron tells us that all the women are really "sucking it in" tonight and are prepared for the "worst-case scenario" of not getting a rose. Man, I wish the worst thing that will ever happen to me in my life is not marrying Aaron Buerge. He concludes that it will come as a "pleasant surprise" to those women who do get the rose. Well, aren't we just a touch too happy with ourselves? Perhaps next week Aaron will go on a date with a full-length mirror.

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Bachelor

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