It's been a long time since The Gap used a song in one of its commercials that made me feel, well, just mad about saffron. But I have something to say to you all at this time, and it is this: "Summer breeze makes me feel fiiiiiiiine. Goin' through the jasmine in my mi-i-i-ind." Oh, childhood memories. You weren't really all bad, after all.

Jesse and Tara met at the Indianapolis Zoo? I don't even remember that from when I first watched this. They sip red whine out of plastic cups in the middle of the animals looking like they're about to have The Picnic Of The Crazy, and Tara launches right in with the most pragmatic love talk ever: "What are your reservations about me?" Romance. Not dead. But, lucky for fans of repetitive rhetoric, Jesse has an answer at the ready: "My biggest reservation is, y'know, you being able to express yourself to me verbally." Tara really is confused, asking Jesse how many different ways she has to say it, and she makes a facial expression that says, "Really, I think this is fake and you suck." Because it really doesn't make any sense. "At this point, I'm not sold on everybody," he continues. Everybody? What is he talking about. What's going on? Let's bring out Nick and Jenny. Tara is thrilled to see Jenny, but...well, it's about not to go well. They embark on a walk right away, Tara telling Jenny, "I really want to marry him...There is not one bad thing about him." Jenny leaps on that, telling Tara, "Well, that's not true." Good point. Unless it's just the introduction to the opposite sketch. Back at the table, Jesse tries again with Nick: "Who do you see with me?" Nick starts to get all riled up again, and Jesse continues to some ambiguous purpose, "You've known them for fifteen minutes," stopping before his follow-up thought, "And I for sixteen." How would Nick feel, Jesse asks, if he found out Tara has been engaged before? Jesse shouldn't care. He doesn't. Nick likes both of them, but tells us in a confessional that Jesse is concerned that -- wait for it -- Tara hasn't expressed herself to him: "I think it'll be Jessica." But wait. Isn't she too young? I don't understand this show if the conflicts can't be reduced to one sentence each.