They get to the topic of Tara's having been engaged, which Jesse's confessional tells us does "raise a red flag." Just as the sight of some dick like him having appeared on this show should raise a red flag for every girl who will never date him again in the future. Honestly, how dare he? Don't break an engagement! Don't hide your feelings! Don't avert your eyes while I share an intimate kiss with my biological father! The Gospel According To Jesse Palmer, people. I do not have that book.

But the father doesn't matter at all, does he? No, no, no. As is so often the case, the big, strong man is felled by the knee-jerk reaction of his mother, Susan "The World's First Supermodel" Palmer, who is more than happy to offer her opinion with her son: "I think that Tara is the type of girl that really takes a long time to get to know." Lesson: never try to love anyone with complexity. "I think she's about finding herself and establishing a career." Lesson: never try to love anyone who loves her work, particularly if you think it means she's going to love it more than she loves you, particularly if you're worried about your own job prospects because you suck at what you do and she majored in her job at univeeeeeeersity. "I'm not seeing her interested in boys in general." Lesson: strong women are lesbians.

Jesse frets that it's hard for him to elicit Tara's feelings for him, and Susan frostily reports, "She doesn't have feelings for you." She tells us she had to be honest with her son, and that she didn't see a "connection" between him and Tara. The Stache, however, whispers in the kitchen to Jesse that he finds Tara to possess a "natural warmth." But Jesse is afraid to take that "leap of faith," though The Stache thinks she shows her feelings for him all the time. Jesse pronounces his parents' feelings for Tara "almost a split decision." "Almost"? As she takes her leave, Tara tells us that she didn't ever want to go. Don't worry about it, dear. Susan Palmer wants you to leave enough for all of them combined. Outside, Tara speaks the words, "I am falling in love with you." Jesse doesn't know her feelings for him. I wish someone had no feelings like that for me every once in a while. Sorry. Did that make you uncomfortable? I just figured, like, last recap ever, we were kind of friends by now and I could tell you that I'm sad I'm not in love. It's not going to make me, like, kiss my dad on the mouth or anything, but anyway. I'm better.