But the thing Jesse hates most about segues is how damn French that word sounds, so why not just cut right to the next thing and not remind him of France or Canada or the French-Canadian locale that decided it no longer spawned him: "Actually, I have a surprise." I'm a man! Well, nobody's perfect! Anyway: "You remember Jenny?" Does she remember Jenny? Does she REMEMBER Jenny? Jenny, Jesse's best friend? Jenny, posing as a Bachelorette? Jenny the Capital-S Spy? Does Jessica remember her? She lived with them in the house for, like, three weeks. Cumulatively -- and this is really just a guesstimate, as it were -- Jessica has probably spent between three to five times more of her life with Jenny than she has with Jesse. Ugh. Jenny, Jesse, Jessica. My computer feels like it's trapped on a Soupy Sales greatest hits album. It hates that feeling. Anyway, Jenny The Spy and her husband Nick enter the establishment, to probably the most shocking! Confessional! Ever! From! Jesse! And here it is. It's fantastic: "I'm excited about seeing Jenny and Nick. More so Nick." Oh, man, he hates Jenny so much for making him give up the leggy whore. If it weren't for Jenny and her heinous and numerous invectives to Jesse against Trish and her controversial t-shirts, the producers would have cut a whole different version of this show that made Trish look completely normal, and she would be sitting at that table with Jesse right now and everyone knows it. So she has to be the fall spy and take the rap for the fact that Jesse's ended up with these two identical bottle blondes while Trish will now only be able to go on a date with Russ from the Trista season at Social Pariah Hall.
Episode Report CardDjb: A+ | 550 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT