Djb’s Last Bachelor Recap Ever, Suckas!

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Jesse's Mom Has Got It Going On

Tara will get the door herself, thanks. As her limo pulls away, she tells us that Jesse did "a lot of things that were inappropriate." She adds that he "said too much." Which, I mean. She kind of knew she was losing, though, right? Whatever. She lost, so the world doesn't get to care about her anymore.

Jessica was there waiting for him, which made it "all better." She accepts the final rose and Jessica is all, "Tara who?" And I'm all, "Bachelor who?" A happy ending for everyone.

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