Bachelor
Fun For The Whole Family

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What, No Dowries?

Later in the day, or some other day entirely -- or perhaps yesterday, knowing reality-show editing -- Aaron and Brooke hang out in a gazebo. Aaron insists that it's rare to find a family as supportive as Brooke's is. Does Aaron live under the sea or something? What kind of families has he been running around with? Sharks? Sea turtles? Brooke tells Aaron that if her feelings progress the way they have been, she'd be happy to spend the rest of her life with him. Aaron asks her if she's ever heard of "butterfly kisses." I have, and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go crawl underneath a table and scream until the world ends. Isn't that some awful, awful song about a man singing about the way his daughter used to kiss him? There are some serious daddy issues going on here, as if we didn't already know. Brooke says that she does know what they are, as well as Eskimo kisses. Aaron pretends to be ignorant of what Eskimo kisses are (or he really is ignorant; you never know with him), so that Brooke will lean over and give him one.

Brooke and Aaron say their goodbyes to the family and wrap up the trip. Brooke thinks it was great to bring Aaron home, because that's where she grew up. Okay, then. As Aaron and Brooke drive off in the limo, Mom worries about her little daughter being happy. JohnDavid assures her that things will turn out all right: "God will take care of it." Yikes. I guess he wasn't kidding after all. You hear that, Helene, Gwen, and Angela? I'd watch the skies for lightning bolts if I were you. God wants Aaron to marry Brooke. Mom is in tears as Brooke and Aaron leave.

As Brooke and Aaron part ways, See 'N Say Aaron says that he enjoyed meeting Brooke's parents and feels better about her. He goes on to say that he was hoping that meeting them would "answer some questions" for him, but it hasn't, because he didn't "expect to be as impressed with them as [he] has been." He was totally hoping that Brooke's family would turn out to be a bunch of Cletuses, thereby making it easier for him to eventually dump her. He's all class, that Aaron.

Commercials. We return to Kansas City. There are images of fountains. Fountains are the money shots for Kansas City. I'm surprised we didn't see anybody eating cheese steaks when they were in Philly. Aaron meets with Angela. She welcomes him to Kansas City. I'm sure he's probably been there a few times, but he thanks her anyway. Then he has to explain to us that he's in Kansas City to meet Angela's family. We see lengthy shots of fountains as Aaron declares that the week has been "emotionally draining" for him. Seriously? Shut up, Aaron. God. Well, he's about to find out what emotionally draining really means.

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Bachelor

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