Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | 623 USERS: C+
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A Wrong Turn On The Southern State

Trish retires to some anterior sitting room with her sister to "decompress." Trish tests the censor's limits three times in telling her sister that, pretty much, she's bleeping had it with this bleeping bleep, "because of women and being catty and being mean." She credits herself with being such a strong person, and Susan confirms that she's not surprised at Trish's troubles in the house, seeing as "women have a tendency to be threatened by her...this has been going on for a decade. With everyone she runs into." Well. Yeah. Fifty Million Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong, Vol. 2. From the safety of a nearby confessional, Jesse again notes that he has some reservations about Trish, because of the "hurdles" that they keep facing. He's glad he got to see her "sweet side" in front of her parents, and notes that he's glad he doesn't have to make a decision tonight because, well, "I've got a lot of thinking to do." And that can take a while. And it smells like burning.

Back at the A.J. Feely Halfway House For Wayward Third-String Quarterbacks, Jesse Palmer rewelcomes the final four to his home for...a night of random milling. He enters the living room and leaves first with Tara, who tells him that she missed him. In a confessional, she defends her opinion of him against future airings of this show, defending against an as-yet-unseen offense, "He really is a wonderful guy." Mandy Jaye, meanwhile, tells him from a strangely omniscient perch that she knows he has concerns about her authenticity. "I've had ten years of interview coaches," she notes, and Jesse says he wants to be with someone who doesn't think of what they want to say before she says it. It is a basic rule of life he abides by every single day. In her confessional, Mandy Jaye frets, "He misunderstands me as a person. That's painful." She tears up, and she hasn't even been booted. Yet. Nice interview coaching, entire state of Texas. Trish, meanwhile, sneers that "little girls are gonna be little girls," and we cut strangely to Jessica telling Jesse that she's ready to settle down. And Trish, meanwhile, is too high-maintenance to win. And she has "a lot of love to give." And, also, "I adore you." Jesse appreciates this compliment in silence, causing Trish to put her hand over her mouth like she's just realized how in love she is because that's exactly how it happens. "My god!" she screams. "What do you do to me!" Makes her pimp herself to save face.

Bachelor

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