A black SUV thinks energy conservation is for our kids' generation and oil dependence is ancillary to our policy abroad as it pulls into the driveway in front of Jessica's family's house. We learn from Jessica, "Today Jesse's going to be meeting my mom, Mary Lynn; both my brothers, Kyle and Tyler; my dad, Dan; and my grandparents, Nana and Bobo." Uh oh. Clown blood in the family. I wouldn't if I were you, Jesse. "My family is very protective," Jessica pines on. "I think that they might grill him a little." Sitting around the living room now, Jessica's parents grill Jesse a little bit. Wow. It's like she's known them all her life! The somewhat normal mother -- let's call her Mary Lynn on account of it's totally her name -- kicks things off, asking, "In football, do you get a choice of where you want to go? Like, if you want to come on the west coast...?" A leading question, sure, but one that's understandable from a mother who wants to keep her kids close to the nest. The question she's asking, in my estimation, is, "Do you have any choice as to what city you get sent to when you play in the NFL?" That's what you guys think too, right? Watchers of any sports draft will know that the answer to that question is, pretty much, no, but that shouldn't impede her right to ask it. Because I think the question Jesse hears is, "I've been told you're quite the tard, really, and I was hoping you would be able to quickly prove that to us?" And so here is Jesse's response: "Yeah! That's the thing. You kind of live in the city, y'know, where you play. So I got drafted out of Florida to New York City, and I absolutely love the city." So then, no. He had absolutely no choice where he went. But, speaking of this year's football draft, he can go pretty much anywhere he wants now, without all the pesky football holding him back from his dream. And not that I'm badmouthing it or anything? But I think the dude lives in New Jersey.