Next is Helene, twenty-seven, a "school psychologist." She's one of the few non-blondes. She was previously engaged, but it didn't work out. She compliments Aaron's eyes; he compliments her smile. Next is Brooke, a twenty-two-year-old blonde college student from Alabama who is certainly not lacking in the chestal region. Brooke is looking for a guy who gives her butterflies when they kiss. Not literal butterflies. Though I think she'd probably like that, too. After she meets Aaron and walks into the Malibu Dream House, Brooke fans herself to indicate the level of hotness she thinks the bachelor possesses. Next up is Angela, a blonde, twenty-seven-year-old registered nurse who insists that she's shy. Really. She does. Obviously she was forced to come on this show by court order or something. Next is Lori, twenty-six, an African-American former NBA cheerleader. She's pretty confident that Aaron will like her because of her smile. And the fact that she's a cheerleader. And she's wearing a dress that shows off her boobies.
Speaking of boobies, Kyla, twenty-two, has got an impressive set of her own. But keep your hands off this blonde airline supervisor. She's a Mormon virgin who doesn't believe in premarital sex. She's doomed. Aaron might keep her around for a few cuts to make himself look good, but she's a goner. Next is Christi, blonde, twenty-three, assistant financial advisor and former Miss Idaho. She compares the pageant with the show. Yes, it's all a desperate ploy to get people to love you and to be on television. The shape of Christi's nipples is visible through her dress. Next up is Hayley, twenty-eight, a brunette retail manager. All of her other friends have gotten married. That's why she's on the show. That's rather sad.
All this hard work of smiling and saying hello must be trying, because Chris comes up to check on Aaron and to make sure he's doing okay. Aaron is psyched, of course. Back to the ladies. Dana, twenty-four, a brunette, is in radio sales. She believes in love in first sight. I roll my eyes. Next is Heather, twenty-four, blonde, a massage therapy trainee. Oh, I think she's going to go over well. She whines that she's been dating a lot, but hasn't met a guy who has "made her toes tingle" yet. Maybe she should be looking for an acupuncturist? Next is Anindita, twenty-seven, an attorney of Indian or Middle Eastern descent. I'm being vague so as not to be rude, because I don't really know. She explains that her parents had an arranged marriage, and that the whole concept of arranged marriages "lends credibility" to this show. Assuming, you know, that the average American thinks that arranged marriages are credible to begin with, which I doubt. So, you know, whatever helps you sleep at night. Next is Suzanne, thirty-three, a flight attendant with frazzled brown hair that has streaks of blonde in it. She's also wearing a choker with a giant red orchid sticking out of the front. Ugly. She says she doesn't want the white picket fence with the 2.5 kids. She wants adventure. She's toast. Next is Amber, twenty-six, a psychologist who wants to reassure us she's not a dumb blonde. That's really all she has to say.