Next is Merrilee, twenty-eight, a first-grade teacher, who has that brown-blonde hair streak thing. It's an ugly trend that needs to stop now. Merrilee wants somebody who loves her as much as she loves him. Go for the brass ring, there. Next is Christy, twenty-four, brunette, a radiological technologist who wants to be married by twenty-six and have two kids by thirty. ["Two kids under five in the same house? She's a braver woman than I." -- Wing Chun] Christy's biggest goal in life is to have a happy family. She makes me shudder in horrified fascination. Next is another beauty-pageant woman. I feel like I'm recapping the American Idol auditions again. Heather, thirty, brunette, a flight attendant, was a Miss Texas pageant contestant. She compares the two contests, but explains that instead of winning a crown, she's winning a man. She rockets past Christy in the "horrified fascination" category. Next is Suzi, twenty-eight, a communications specialist with flippy brown-blonde hair. Suzi's mom told her that she didn't have big enough bosoms to be on the show. I'm not making that up. That's what Suzi has to say to us. Next is Liangy, thirty, brunette, a paralegal, who is willing to make a commitment to "someone" to be a wife and lover. Somebody? Anybody? Love me! Love me! Next is Camille, twenty-nine, an "actress" with those damnable hair streaks. She whines that all the guys she meets ask her if she's into threesomes with other women. Maybe she should stop going out with the guys on Elimidate. Next is another Erin, twenty-five, brunette, who claims to do "publications quality control" for a living. In other words, she's a copy editor. She the first contestant to actually get on my good side by saying that she doesn't believe in love at first sight. Yay! She says it's actually lust, but love can grow with time. She's probably doomed. We'll see.