Bachelor
Hometown Dates

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This is What It Sounds Like When Doves Cry
ms they have," and I am getting really unsettled by all this. "Used and abused" her? What does that mean? In an interview, Joe, who looks like he's wearing eyeliner, jokes that they want to marry her off because they're sick of the fifth wheel hanging around all the time.

So in lieu of chatting with her parents to see what they think of the boyfriend who dates a bunch of women at once, Melissa asks her friends what they "think of the boy," adding, "I really like the boy." Why? Because he makes her feel "like, worthy" and "like, beautiful." Aw. That's, like, touching! They all hug.

Elsewhere, the men are ruining a perfectly good game of pool by talking Melissa's past relationships, especially the long one she had in which the guy would rather hang out in Dallas with his friends than be with her, and it took them a lot of work to convince her that she was better than that.

And then Jason gets to talk to the women and we find out that Stephanie, whom Melissa said was one of her oldest friends, only met her parents once, and Melissa doesn't really talk again, which may be important to remember the next time Melissa whines about how important it is that Jason meet them and how sad it is that he's not going to. In an interview, he says he would have thought that her closest friends would know her parents. In an interview, Melissa says she's disappointed that Jason didn't get to meet her parents and she's worried that might affect the decision. My GOD I need a GUN.

Well, here's an advantage to not meeting the parents: Jason and Melissa can spend the night drinking and cuddling if they want. Jason tells us that Melissa had "her suite" done up all nice... her suite? Doesn't she live in Dallas? They talk a little bit about Jason not meeting her parents, and Melissa saying that they're very private people who didn't even come to any of her Cowboys games. After more pointless talk about her parents, which I can't even bother to summarize, the two of them start making out. Melissa says she's fallen harder for Jason than she's fallen for anyone in a long time.

Back in Seattle, Jason said he had a great week, and his decision is going to be -- wait for it -- "ridiculously tough." This would be in stark contrast to all the other weeks that seemed to be such a breeze for him, right?

Chris Harrison crashes the houseboat so he can get the dirty details on the hometown dates and this show can be even more padded by showing us scenes that we've already watched tonight. Jason says he's even more confused after meeting all the families, and I can't say I blame him, what with the golf and the hats and the dead-animal disposal going on. After rehashing the dates, Harrison notes Jason has some thinking to do, and he'll see him later, and that means we get some more of those hilarious shots of Jason trying to look thoughtful while staring out over the water.

So it's back over to the Fairmont Hotel, where the women are lined up in this huge banquet room, awaiting Jason's verdict. "I don't even know where to start," says Jason, starting in on his weekly lip service about how hard a decision this was for him, because he's been on the other side. It manages to get even more annoying each time I hear it.

He tells "Mel" that meeting her friends was "awesome," and he knows where Jill comes from, and Naomi's family is wonderful, and meeting Molly's family was unbelievable. He says it's a lot harder now that people's friends and families are involved, and he thanks them all for inviting him to their hometowns: "it meant the world to me."

First rose: Molly. "The hats didn't scare you away?" she says. No, not after the voodoo ceremony at Naomi's place. Jillian's next.

And the final rose goes to, after about five hours, Melissa. Naomi seems a little bit stunned, and then recovers enough to smile. She hugs the other women, telling them that she loves them (and I have to say that the final four women do -- and even going back to include Stephanie -- seem to genuinely like each other more than I remember happening before).

Jason sits down to tell Naomi that it had nothing to do with her as a person or her family, but just that he thinks they're in "different places" right now. She pleasantly tells him that that wasn't the reason she wanted to hear, because she is ready to settle down, so she would have rather heard that he feels stronger about the other women. He says she's incredible, and she says she wishes nothing but the best for him. In an interview, he tells her he felt bad sending her home because she's gorgeous and full of life and blah blah blah, but "it just wasn't the right time."

He packs her off in the limo, and she slowly starts to cry more and more as she talks about how it stinks that the very reasons she told him she didn't want to go home are the reasons she is going home, and she didn't want to have her heart broken again, and she's starting to feel like she's better off on her own. Aw. "I have no idea where I go from here. It sucks," she says, covering her face with her hands.

Jason says he knows he made the right decision, but it was still hard to do that to someone, and he knows he's going to have to do it again (and again). Then again, he and the other women are all smiles as he toasts them and their families, and he's going to see them all in New Zealand! The bachelorettes are going to New Zealand for the skanky and not at all romantic overnight dates!

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