Suzie is twenty-three year-old. She is from Warren, Michigan, where she works as a "prosthetic technician." Hey, that's a real job that takes a whole approximately 11.5 months of correspondence training! And yet, years later, you still can't escape the wily barbs of well-meaning family members who repeatedly point at you and yell, "Hey, Suzie, gimme a hand!" at the holidays. She tells a story in confessional that indicates the lengths she'd go to in order to win a man's heart that goes like this: "There was this girl at a bar and her boyfriend said hello to me and she got all upset so she kicked me and so I just went up to her and we went at it and I kicked her ass." This is so romantic! I'll bet Jesse's teammates wish they could have been there to see that. I'll also bet that other girl is going to need herself one hell of a prosthetic technician.
Delores stumbles right from the first down (see what I did there?), getting out of the car and casually trying a line she's been practicing into her compact mirror for weeks: "Hey there, number three!" That's his football number. That's her percent chance of victory in this contest. She tells him that she's from New Jersey, just as her title card comes up and trumpets the fact that she's from Los Angeles. She's from the Los Angeles section of New Jersey.
Debbie is a twenty-seven-year-old massage therapist from Georgia. She enjoys massage, therapy, and unfavorable comparisons to Kelly-Jo's unfavorable hair bob. She's trying to keep "a level head." Maybe a pillbox hat would help balance things out.
Limo #2, or the last remains of the dodo:
Karen is from Providence, a city known not only for its corrupt mayor and exceedingly good karaoke options, but also for its crack team of former pageant winners now in pharmaceutical sales. Slightly more goth than the rest of the girls, one would expect Karen's sensibility to be a bit sharper than the rest, but looks can be deceiving, and we quickly learn that the only pointy edge Karen has ever seen is on the business end of a tiara. "I was Miss Rhode Island in 1999," she tells us, conveniently leaving out the fact that I came in fourth behind each of the Farrelly Brothers. Jesse compliments Karen's dress in a way that means, "I now understand the tactical uses behind double-stick tape. Thank 3M for me."
I just thought I'd take a moment to revisit Chris's previous assertion that we'd be meeting twenty-[four] women from "all across the country." Meet Anne-Catherine, who is apparently from the city of "Quebec" in the state of "Canada." She has a strong French-Canadian accent, which means she's not the spy. She's from Quebec City. "I'm from Ottawa!" Jesse all but screams in glee. See, this is a valuable lesson in life: if you think you have something in common with someone when you meet them, sometimes you really don't.