Bachelor
It's My Bachelor Party And I'll Cry Because I'm Crazy And/Or Sad About The Sudden Death Of My Grandmother

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Skinny Amy

Bob talks to the girls about where he thinks their "friends" would have rated them on the Bob Guiney Compatibility Scale. Heh. "Friends." Even the girls look confused, but they think they're "near the top." Kelly Jo tells us that there is "big-time competition," but reasons correctly that other people are feeling the same way. Mary thinks you just fall in love through karaoke. And then you do. But only until the end of the song. Bob tells them that if he follows his heart of some such nonsense, well, then, "no one's gonna be mad."

I think we're in the middle of a group meeting of some kind at Catty On A Hot Tin Roof. Lee-Ann is telling an assemblage of girls that people are jealous of her because they saw how she and Bob "clicked" at their last group date. Since then, there's been a "negative vibe" in the house. Estella tries to reason that the "vibe" Lee-Ann is feeling is just the competitive nature of the game and that they're all feeling it, but Lee-Ann counters that "some people were closer with [her] before [her] date with Bob." Jenny tries to butt in, but Lee-Ann's got the floor she's going to be smashing headlong into head-first after about one more sip of Chardonnay, slurring, "No, I'm not talking to you, Jenny. If I was, I'd say 'Jenny.'" Hee. That's awesome. She became every manifestation of the evil second-grade teacher that she no doubt is with that sentence. Lee-Ann continues in confessional, "These girls aren't handing out the roses. Bob is. And I definitely know I have a connection with Bob, and that's why I'm here and that's why I'm sticking it out in the drama house." She tells Jenny -- who she HATES, by the way -- that she's comfortable with herself and knows what she wants, causing the old debate of acting the role of the lone wolf (Kirsten, Charlie) versus going for the prize while still bonding with the people in the house (Jen, Ryan) to flare up again. Jenny follows up, "I care about Bob, but I also care about the girls in this house." Lee-Ann stands up, taps her hand against the table, snipes, "Well, I'm glad we had this talk," and punctuates her emotions on the matter by walking out of the room and mysteriously grabbing her own butt.

"There are definitely girls I don't like," Lee-Ann continues in confessional, "so I'm not gonna pretend that we're all, like, sisters. No." She sticks an international-sign- for-regurgitation finger in her mouth and repeats, "No!" Pause. Heh. "Gag me. No." I know she's a bitch and probably crazy. But she's eloquently and entertainingly so, and Kirsten was neither, so I love Lee-Ann. So there.

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Bachelor

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