And then they are opening up the fortune cookies they made: "Kiss me," reads Tenley's (from Jake) and she wrote the exact same thing. "Great minds think alike!" says Jake. Fools seldom differ, says I. The best you can come up with is "kiss me"?
Jake says he wouldn't change a thing about Tenley, and Tenley says Jake is a beautiful man from the "inside out" like maybe his intestines are really pretty or something and then they are making out and babbling about possibly starting to begin to think about falling in love.
And now there's another date card on top of a chest in the hallway? The women bring the chest into their room. It's for Gia and Vienna. The card says Jake thought he would give them more options to get ready for their date. It's a chest full of clothes for them to dress up in. "It was really, really sweet of him. It meant a lot," says Vienna, like Jake actually had anything to do with it.
Jake's meeting the women at a vineyard in Napa Valley. Jake says he's not keen on the two-on-one dates because he's not sure how to divide his time, like yeah, this is why NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T DO THIS. It's always amusing to me when people who go on The Bachelor or Bachelorette then complain about how the show works. It's kind of like going on So You Think You Can Dance and saying, "I think it's stupid that you have to dance and have people judge you."
The women arrive at the castle at the winery, and Vienna is in heaven. It may surprise you to learn that Vienna still thinks of herself as her dad's princess. I mean, my daughter does too, but she's three, and we'll be growing her out of that. Gia feels like a "third wheel" on the date because Jake and Vienna are so tight. That's because Vienna never shuts up, and Gia needs to assert herself some more.
Tenley and Ali back at the hotel are chatting about what they think the women are talking to Jake about on the date. It's even more boring than actually watching the date. They of course figure Jake's hearing a bunch of shit about Ali and Ali hopes to set the record straight. Tenley wonders if maybe he has the two of them on the two-on-one date because he's trying to decide between the two of them. YEAH, THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT, TENLEY. She's so sweet, I almost hate to make fun of her. It's like making fun of a kitten.
Of course, though, on the date, Vienna IS talking about the last rose ceremony, and the way Ali spouted off about Vienna. She practically starts to cry, and Jake tells her he's got reasons for what he does, and he's picked his best five. Also, he doesn't care what other people think. I don't think he's being honest about that last part, though. And then Jake is feeling really awkward about Vienna blabbing away and sneaks away with Gia, and Vienna's upset about that, because it's HER date, after all. I think she might actually believe that. Not in an optimistic way, but in a sociopathic way.