The emcee at the club seems to have forgotten it's the "Jon Lovitz Comedy Club," because that's not what he calls it. Jon Lovitz comes out, calls himself "J-Lo," refers to his crotch as the "Thunder Down Under" so THANKS FOR ALL THE COMEDY TIPS, Jon Lovitz. Seriously? Were those the only two jokes he did? Because you only had time for two jokes, and you picked those two to show?
Ali is up first. She asks why Tigger was licking the toilet. He was looking for Pooh! Jessie reads her jokes off a piece of paper. Tenley tries to put her legs behind her head, and she can't even do that, so she probably loses points in a couple of categories for Jake. Elizabeth tells some raunchy joke that I can't really make out because she gets bleeped. Something to do with fucking some guy, apparently, and Jake is all, "Yet I can't kiss her! Jake confused, and intrigued!" Kathryn just brings Jake on stage so she can kiss him. By this point, I'm imagining the black people in the audience thinking, "That night we saw Michael Richards was funnier than this."
And then, doing comedy like Jack Ruby did Lee Harvey Oswald, Michelle starts talking about coconuts missing from palm trees, and then looks at her breasts and says they're there, and they're waiting for Jake. And you can hear the crickets. Then, somehow even more horrifyingly, she talks about going golfing and then being on the green how her hole is waiting for her one-on-one time. I SWEAR TO GOD SHE SAID THAT. Even the Jeff Foxworthy-loving dude in the audience is shaking his head. Ashleigh doesn't come down when Lovitz calls her, so Corrie comes on, and she does impressions of the other bachelorettes, which all the strangers in the audience who DON'T KNOW THESE WOMEN must have appreciated. Especially since her impressions all consist of saying, "Hi, I'm [name of bachelorette]!" and then adding "I like to work out" "I like my blonde hair!" etc. You know the way you would impersonate people when you were a kid? "Duh, I'm stupid Steven! Duh duh duh!" That's what this was like. Then she launches into Vienna, talking about how she likes to talk shit about the other women and walk around topless. The other women are killing themselves laughing. Jake says he was concerned about that, since the other women are apparently seeing a side of Vienna that he doesn't. Maybe it should concern you that Corrie comes off jealous and vicious, you idiot.