Bachelor
Jake Takes One Woman Bungee Jumping

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | Grade It Now!
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Unfunny People

Michelle gets more one-on-one time, where she tries to justify the kiss, tries to justify her bullshit behavior and recalibrate her reasons as he points out the inconsistencies in her justifications. Even with her ship rapidly sinking, Elizabeth says she'll be surprised and shocked and hurt if she doesn't get picked.

Jake looks at all the pictures of the women. Where's the dartboard with Rozlyn's picture on it? Jake says he trusts his heart to not let him send the wrong women home. Again: you picked Rozlyn, Jake.

Harrison commiserates with the women over what a tense week it's been, and then Jake comes in and thanks them for putting their lives on hold to do this, which is the kind of thing you'd say to doctors in M├ędicins Sans Frontiers. He says to the two women he's not picking tonight, that this was a horrible decision, but the woman he does want to give his heart to, he believes she's in this room tonight.

First rose: Gia. Apart from her dust-up with Vienna, she seems kind of nice, and secure in whether Jake likes her. Corrie. Then Tenley. Then Ali, Jessie (who again I don't think said two sentences tonight) and Kathryn. Final rose goes to Ashleigh.

Valishia (again, completely under the radar), gracefully thanks Jake and hugs him. She seems strong about it outside, but her face kind of crumples a little bit when she says she's used to things not going her way. Oh, dear. Don't cry! She seems nice. Not that we'll ever know. Elizabeth still goes for the smiling coquettish look as she asks Jake "what happened?" and he says he had to go with his heart. "I should have kissed you," she says, LIKE QUIT WITH THE KISSING, Elizabeth. Then again, I'm not surprised. Her reasoning seems to be "You would put up with a lot of my crap if I just kiss you." Outside, she's perplexed and a little hurt.

The credits run over Jake's "You know you're The Bachelor when..." comedy routine back at the comedy club, which puts a nail in the coffin of the streak of credits codas that make the people on this show seem funnier and more likeable than anything else in the preceding two hours. Having said that, Jake dispatching Elizabeth (done matter-of-factly but not coldly) was one of the more surprising things I've seen since covering this show, and he deserves credit for unapologetically refusing to put up with any more bullshit than he's required to.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland, which is at least a half-hour ahead of the rest of North America, with a wife and a daughter. He's not watching The Bachelor for the right reasons. Follow him on Twitter or email him at danieljdaniel[at]gmail.com.

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