Jason Brings His Son to New Zealand

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | Grade It Now!
Melissa, Will You Be My Fiancée for a Little While?

Meanwhile, there's a car making it's way up the driveway, and someone getting out, and all we see are her legs, like we're not supposed to know who this is even though ABC has been relentlessly beating us over the head with the fact that DeAnna comes back.

"What are you doing here?" he says after he answers the door. Like he didn't know she was going to be there. She tells us she was nervous. "I came here because I lost out on a great man," she tells him, and then feeds him a bunch of bullshit about how she picked someone she was going to have a lot of fun with, and she didn't look past that (I've destroyed the tapes, but I'm pretty sure if I had them and checked, she probably said all the right things about being able to spend the rest of her life with Jesse), and if she were to do it differently she'd probably go a different route. Well, no kidding. In other words, "Jason, since it didn't work out with the guy I picked over you, I think maybe I'd do it differently." Please get off my screen, DeAnna!

"If I'd chosed [sic] you, it would have worked," she tells him. "You haven't proposed yet. You still have a chance. And that's why I'm here," she says. Oh, come on! You're here because you were offered money to be on television again!

He thanks her for coming here, but he's found two girls who he's completely fallen for. "If you're going to propose tomorrow, you should look further," she tells him. He says he has to follow his heart. "I wouldn't say follow your heart. I'd say lead it. I followed my heart," she says, even though a moment ago she said she followed her heart and her head, and it didn't work out. After he sees her out, she talks about how wonderful Jason is. "Any woman that gives him up is very, very stupid," she says. I agree with the assessment if not the reasoning, DeAnna.

Hey, did you know Jason's in love with two women? And he can see himself with both of them? He tells us again for the twelfth time tonight. He goes on about Molly, how the more he knows the more he can't get enough, and he's been falling in love with Melissa since their first date. Amazing. Unbelievable. "I thought I'd have it all figured out by now, but I'm more confused than ever." Because, in case you haven't heard, he's fallen in love with two women! Hey, Jason, go for a swim in your outdoor pool, and hold your thoughtful pose while we zoom out from somewhere far away. That's it! You look so natural!

Then Melissa and Molly each tell us how badly they want to marry the guy who's cheating on them. Although, to be fair, at this point he is cheating with only one other woman instead of several at the same time, so I guess he's currently the most faithful he's been to either of them.

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