So Erica strolls up to interrupt, and she starts chatting with Jason, and meanwhile the other women are noticing that Jason's not there anymore, and Naomi tells us that already there are women trying to steal one on one time. "It's the first night!" says Naomi, so here we go with the "I didn't think of it first so therefore it's not cool" reasoning.
After Erica's done, Dominique goes outside to giggle at Jason, who asks her what she knows about Seattle, and all she can say is that she's seen Sleepless in Seattle. Wow, that first impression rose is going to be a tough decision tonight! She talks about being from a small town in Pennsylvania. She sells "toe implants," for bunions and hammertoes. She says she's usually serious, even though she might seem silly right now. Again, if you have to explicitly explain what you are, then you're really not so much the way you think you are. If that makes sense.
Sharon the Spanish teacher from Batavia strolls up and asks if she can interrupt. To his credit, Jason doesn't say, "God, yes, THANK you." He and Sharon go inside to chat one on one, where she tells him she resigned her job to come here. Wow, is THAT a bad idea. Send this one home NOW and maybe she can beg and get her job back. In an interview, Sharon says she thinks there's a connection there. She's deluding herself. Any guy is going to run far from a woman who tells him she resigned her job just to meet him.
Meanwhile the women are thankfully talking about something other than Jason. They're talking about their kids. Molly asks them if they think they have an advantage because they know what it's like as a single parent. Megan the lacrosse coach, in an interview, says, "There are a lot of girls who I don't think understand what it means to be someone's mom." Yeah, those would be the ones who aren't moms, Megan. And they all have exactly as much experience with being a mom as you did right before you became one too.
Jason sits down with Nicole the orange-dress wearing woman and Kari in pink who whips out a poem that she wrote for him. There is a big heart scribbled on the paper. The poem is entitled, "Is there such a thing as love at first sight?" I don't know about you, but I can't wait to hear what the answer is. "Jason, a first smile. Worthwhile. Our first meeting, all of us competing." Oh god, that SUCKS. Like even for "first episode of The Bachelor" poetry, that just blows. Meanwhile, Nicole, the oompa-loompa dress wearer, talks in an interview about how uncomfortable she was sitting there while Sylvia Plath here was spilling her guts out. After she's done, Nicole lamely says she also has a present for him, but she's going to give it to him later. In an interview, she says it was the most awkward moment of her life.
So how's the other Canadian doing? She's grilling up some hot dogs and she and the women are talking about how you can tell a lot about a man from what he puts on his wiener. Totally agree. This really has the feeling of "I'm going to try to stand out by relating something I read in an e-mail forward" to me. "Ketchup guy is a good, strong, loyal, loving guy. Loves his mom, talks to her several times a week." Sauerkraut guy is the bad boy who they all go for. Onion guy, they all love him, but he's never going to get married. He's rude and possibly smells bad. But mustard guy, that's the guy who they all want to settle down with, because he's part ketchup, part sauerkraut. I don't know what's worse: her condiment knowledge or her advancing this as any way of knowing something about a person. What about chili guy? What about relish guy? So many holes in this theory. I have a theory too. It's called the You're Going Home theory, and I'll be happy to elaborate later. Well, at least we get some wiener double-entendres, with the best coming from Naomi, who explains that if a wiener gets overcooked it doesn't function properly. Well, Naomi, when the grill's been used too much, you run the risk of giving the wiener a burning sensation.
So Jason comes in to the plate of wieners, and Jillian's got the condiments laid out. She asks him why he thinks she has the hot dog theory. "It's how you judge guys," he says. Yeah, pretty much. She talks about how when she moved to the big city, she met all these guys who were like, "I drive a Ferrari and I don't eat hot dogs because my body's a temple" and none of this makes any sense to me. But I also realize now that I've got it backwards, and that she must have been born in Peace River and moved to Vancouver, which makes TONS more sense to me in terms of any restaurant in Peace River needing the services of a "restaurant designer." She says her mom's going to kill her, because she begged her not to talk about the hot dogs. Anyway, he puts mustard on first. "My test on Jason was a true success," she tells us. Your test on Jason tells us nothing, you dingbat. He might very well love onions but he's not stupid enough to get onions on his breath when he's in a roomful of women.
Jason comes out to chat with the other women, but he's only out there a second before Chris comes in with the first impression rose. Molly tells us seeing the rose made her nervous because she wasn't expecting it at that time. Jason tells them all he's been exactly where they are, and tells them not to stress. "This is the start of the winnowing away of all of you but one, but don't worry about it."
So after a commercial break, the women start speculating about the first-impression rose. Shannon tells Erica that Jason likes brunettes. Don't worry about it, Erica. I'm guessing he also prefers non-psychos.
Outside, Jason tells Nikki that he's been waiting to talk to her. I'll say. Yowza. They talk about having a family, and she talks about how she watches her nieces and nephews all the time. Jason's impressed that she's watched four of them at once. Yeah, I gotta say: I watched two kids yesterday while my wife and a family friend were at a meeting, and I think the work increases exponentially with each kid, like the Richter scale. "I'm broken in, completely," says Nikki, which is a soundbite for the ages. They're holding hands, and Jason is doing his level best to maintain eye contact with her.
Later, Jason comes in and sits next to Renee, who tells us, "I would totally be excited if I got the first impression rose. This is something that I envisioned, so I know that this is right." The other women tell Jason that they were talking about karma and the law of attraction, and they're all too happy to point to Renee as the expert, so Renee starts expounding on her vision boards, and gets a spooky X-files-esque accompaniment while she blathers on about cutting words and pictures out of magazines, and good things come to you, and I have to say that I sure hope karma doesn't give a flying fuck how many times you cut "hot guy" out of Cosmo, lady. No one gently points out to her that if this love vision board of hers was such a success she wouldn't BE here, but Shelby is all too happy to tell us that it's not something she personally would have told Jason about, but if Renee's getting all these vibes and visions, then "rock on." Hee! I hope Shelby stays.