Bachelor

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To Live and Snore In L.A.
olly, who interrupts Jason to accept her rose before he's even finished asking her. Next, Raquel, who probably didn't need to worry as much as she looks like she did. Stephanie's next, a woman among girls. Melissa. "Oh!" she says. Jillian looks kinda pissed, but Jillian gets the next one, and she goes in for a hug. Shannon. "I thought you would never ask," she says. I agree, with the word "hoped" instead of "thought." Then there's Lisa, who I barely remember from this night. Sharon goes next, so she'll have to save the knife fight with Raquel for another evening. There's just one rose left. Please tell me Shelby's not going home. There's an awful lot of talent left in the room, I have to say. And Shelby's one and done! The rose goes to Erica! On the other hand, also going home are Renee, Nicole, Stacia (who says this was "the chance of a lifetime"). Renee can't believe this, because she envisioned this thing. She says she's perfect for Jason, because she's 36, and professional, and cute. Jackie says she feels like he's missing out. In a surprise move, she says she'd already planned out her perfect wedding to Jason, like ten times. She's totally hammered. "It's hard to think that I'm so great when so many other men who I've tried to start a life with say, 'you're just not great enough.'" Well, Jackie, try to be a little greater next time.

After the not-so-great (and Shelby) have been kicked out, Jason toasts the remaining women.

This season, on The Bachelor: Jason is awesome! And he sucks a lot of face. New Zealand is involved. And someone "literally" makes it onto cloud nine, which ought to make it awesome. Someone is a whore. And maybe that whore, or some other whore, is not there for the "right reasons." And DeAnna shows up, and I think we're supposed to think she wants him back. And Jason cries on a balcony. But the last preview clip shows Jason proposing and then hugging someone on a hilltop.

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Bachelor

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