Bachelor
Bachelor

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The Witless Bride

The women arrive back at the Malibu Dream House at night to find all the other Barbies waiting for them out front. Christi actually runs out to the car, probably to smell all the women to make sure there's no Aaron on them. They all try to find out who kissed Aaron on this date. They joke that they all "had Aaron for dessert," but actually, nobody kissed Aaron on this date. Christi is certain that Brunette Heather kissed Aaron. Heather denies it, but Christi is insistent because Heather didn't look her in the eye. She really is insane. A nutjob. Total nutjob. Then they think she might be playing semantics and conclude that he kissed her. No. He didn't. Calm down. And strap a straitjacket on Christi before she kidnaps Suzanne's mom.

Commercials. When we return, it's the evening of the rose ceremony. The women arrive in evening dresses. Wait, where did they go? I thought they were living in the Malibu Dream House. Did they make them dress up and pretend to arrive at the house? In case you weren't aware, Aaron has to cut out five women tonight and it's terribly, terribly difficult for him. Don't you feel sorry for him? He says that there are six "shoo-ins," but he isn't quite sure about the last four. He tells all the women that he wants to have one last one-on-one session with each of them before he makes his final decision.

First up, of course, is Crazy Christi, because there's no way she's going to wait, and I'm sure the other women were glad to let her go first because otherwise she'd sit there and tell them all how much she can't wait to talk to Aaron alone. Aaron tells the camera that he was really surprised at how emotional Christi became during the date. In the one-on-one meeting, Christi apologizes for her behavior on the date. Christi is wearing a pink cocktail gown. Pink is such an ugly color. Aaron asks her what the deal was between her and Suzanne. Christi tells him, "Honestly, on the date, she was a completely different person than she is at the house." I'm guessing Christi is calling out Suzanne as a camera whore, only playing the game for airtime, but who on this show isn't? We don't actually hear any evidence of Suzanne's second face or anything. She mocked Christi that one time, but God knows Christi's certainly proved herself to be a mockable person. Perhaps Suzanne just picked up on it before the rest of us did.

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