Bachelor
Bachelor

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Shack: A- | 523 USERS: B-
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The Witless Bride

We cut to a bathroom, where Brunette Heather is calming Brooke down. We discover that Brooke's dad is in prison. Heather is being really nice and helpful, which contrasts with the personality they're trying to present in the interviews. It's the attack of the reality-show editing monster. Brooke sobs and whines that her daddy will never get to walk her down the aisle. Heather insists that Brooke doesn't know that. I wonder what he's in for. It must be something really bad. Heather jokes that she'll walk Brooke down the aisle herself. Yeah, except if the groom is Aaron, it's so that she can push Brooke over to take her place. Oh, apparently Brooke doesn't even know what her daddy did that landed him in prison. She says she doesn't want to know. I can't even imagine living like that. But I'm guessing he must be locked away for a long, long time. Maybe for life, if Brooke's reactions are an indication.

Well, that's all the one-on-one we're going to get. I swear, we haven't heard a single word from Dana on this show at all. Aaron worries some more about who he's going to pick. Christi wonders if she'll be able to rent the cathedral at Notre Dame on Valentine's Day for her wedding. She's going to ride in on the back of a unicorn, and they'll get married under a bower made of rainbows. Chris comes into the living room for his second required appearance to drag Aaron away for the choosing. Chris really serves no purpose on this show. At least he's not terribly annoying, but he's totally redundant. Everything he says is repeated by Aaron or one of the women. Whenever Chris asks Aaron a question, inevitably the answer is something Aaron's already said in the episode. Oh, look there's Dana. She says that every woman in there is hoping for a rose. That was really illuminating. No wonder they never let her talk. Brunette Heather points out that Aaron didn't even talk to her alone, and worries what that might mean.

Bachelor

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