Leina Has Left the Building

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Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
Leina Has Left the Building

The women are all sitting around in the living room, chatting, and trying to look like a PA didn't just come in and tell them to all sit around in the living room and pretend that they are chatting. Chris Harrison walks in and is all, "Oh, sorry to interrupt," and seriously, why do they have to maintain this charade? We know they are on a television show. They know they are on a television show. The producers don't have to pretend this is just a group of women who decided to all move into a house together and compete for the love of one bass fisherman. Just have them artificially lined up, like in the Rose Ceremony, and get on with it. Anyway. Chris tries to make small talk about how exciting the last couple of days have been, and not one of the women responds. Heh. Chris quickly moves on, explaining that two new houseguests will be moving in today. The women still don't really respond. Are they drugged? Where is the "Woooooooo"?

After a reality-show pause, Byron walks in with his dog, Sabrina. Oh, look at the puppy. What a good dog! I wish the show were about the dog instead of Byron. Not the dog dating the women. Ew. Maybe just an hour of the dog doing cute things. God knows it would be more intellectually stimulating. I think Byron is wearing white pants, which is never a good look for a guy. Or a lady, usually, but especially not on a guy. Kelly's dog runs up and starts sniffing Sabrina. See? The dogs are so much more interesting already. Byron interviews that being in the house will give him the chance to get to know the women even better. Chris explains that there are no rules about living together in the same mansion, and again, the women are strangely subdued. Get some champagne in there, stat! Chris keeps talking, explaining that Byron will be going on two one-on-one dates, and the women don’t have much time to jockey for position, because the first date is that night.

Chris asks Andrea, Kelly, and Kristie to show Byron to his room. Why those three? They could have at least pretended there was some semblance of fairness and drawn names or gone in alphabetical order or something. Krysta interviews that the women who aren't afraid to be assertive (read: slutty) can sneak over to Byron's room. Byron and his helpers arrive at the poolhouse or the guesthouse or some other totally separate living quarters. So it's not like he's in the room down the hall from the women. They have to go outside of their house to get to his place. Byron asks the women for help decorating his place. Isn't he only going to be there for a few weeks? It's like when celebrities say in InStyle that they bring candles or tons of photos or other knickknacks with them when they travel to make it feel like home. It just seems like so much hassle. Then again, I moved into my house two years ago and I still have boxes I haven't unpacked. Andrea interviews that she's wanted to be married for a long time, but that she's been waiting for the right person, and that person is Byron. Crazy! Byron does an orange-juice toast to his "new roommates," and the women laugh really hard and then he adds, "My roommates next door," and the women laugh even harder. In case you wondered why sometimes pretty people think they are funny when they aren't, here's why. People laugh at their jokes to try to get in their pants. Not that I think Byron's pretty, but these women obviously do.

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