In her final crazy, crazy interview -- well, besides all the ones she did on various media shows the following day to try to convince us all that she's fun and not all crazy -- Christi says, "At this point, I feel like something went wrong with the universe. I don't feel like I was supposed to go right now. I feel like I was supposed to have another opportunity to show Aaron that I'm not an emotional basket case." Maybe you should try to say that when you're not crying. Also, I suddenly have images of Christi refusing to leave until "the universe" tells her that it really is her time to go. She blathers that perhaps it "wasn't meant to be." Oh, I guess that clue she ordered finally arrived. She should have paid extra for the next-day delivery. Aaron says that Christi's a great woman and very attractive, but they're just not compatible.

Do you think we've hit the bottom depths of Christi's self-delusions? Oh no, we haven't. There's one more drop, so please hang on to the guardrails for your safety. She starts sobbing in her interview, saying, "I'm not gonna be okay. Because some girls didn't say what they should have said. And some girls are staying that know they don't want to marry him. And I would've wanted to marry him. If it had gotten down to that? I would've wanted to marry him." Yes, he knew that. The other women knew that. We all knew that. That's actually why you didn't get a rose. I'm not sure even Dr. Phil could knock some sense into Christi. She concludes, "But he didn't see that. So what do I do?" I suggest a regimen of therapy and mood-balancing drugs, myself. Kyla, Shannon, and Blonde Heather don't even get any parting words, because we can't escape the Black Hole of Christi's delusions.

Next week: More kissing. More boobies. More crying from Brooke. She says, "I want you to get to meet my daddy," though the captioning reads, "I wish you were my daddy." I can see why the captioners might get confused with all the dysfunction flying around.