Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Shack: B- | 498 USERS: B-
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Is That a Pink Sperm Whale Between Your Legs, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

If she were smart, she'd just pass it off as being drunk. I mean, she had a ready excuse right there. And then just start talking about something else. But, no, Christi also bears the title of the Miss Idaho Drama Queen and has to explain that Anindita was saying that Christi's mean and trying to cause conflict. But she wasn't. She's fun! She's the fun girl! Wasn't it fun to see her roll her eyes every time Suzanne opened her mouth? Isn't it fun when she flings herself at you like a twelve-year-old girl meeting Justin Timberlake backstage? Christi insists that she wants people to be comfortable around her and enjoy being around her, and she just couldn't deal with the fact that Anindita didn't like her. So having an insane crying fit is going to fix the problem? Suddenly, three other people were uncomfortable around her, too. Why am I dissecting Christi's logic? She's loopy. She's needy. End of story. Aaron nods politely at Christi's whole explanation with a tight-lipped smile, but doesn't say anything soothing to her at all. Heh. In an interview, Christi asks, "What happened? What did I say? What did I do? I have no idea." Oh, Christi. Has there ever been a more clueless person in the history of reality television? She points out that Aaron kissed her on the date. Of course, Aaron told us that he kissed her to shut her up, so if you see something dangling off Aaron's ass, it's that comment he made back in the second episode, criticizing Alex for leading women on during the first season. She points out that they held hands and flirted with each other. But there's none of that tonight. Yes, Christi, all that hand-holding and flirting took place before your mini-breakdown. And even before then, it was mostly you all up in Aaron's business and him being polite about it. Christi keeps trying to explain herself to Aaron, who sits on his pink sperm whale (hee!), wishing Christi would transform herself into Ariel. The mute version. In an interview, Christi says she wishes that she could go back in time to a month ago, "and have neither or [them] picked to be on the show, and run into him in the airport. Because if [she] met Aaron right on the street, the two of [them] would be together right now." Wow. There isn't even a crack in that speech that would let a bit of reality shine through. See, it's the show. It's not Christi. It's the show. Anindita and Suzanne are the only people on earth who would ever be mean to her. Aaron wouldn't have to worry about Christi freaking out anywhere but on the show. I'm guessing that Aaron wishes he could go back in time, too, and undo giving Christi's crazy ass a rose in the first place.

Bachelor

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