And, back at the house again, the girls grill Trish on her thoughts of what makes the ideal man. She argues, suddenly, that she doesn't have a type, but just wants someone who treats her well (or, as she puts it, "good"), taking pains to add, "It has nothing to do with money." Karen asks her if she "would do an Anna Nicole Smith," meaning, according to Karen, marrying "someone with a bad ticker." But then again, I wouldn't marry someone who ever called the heart a "ticker." So, y'know, who's shallow now? After copping to the fact that she couldn't fall in love with someone poor (which, admittedly, is a challenging moral stance, but it's not like she added, "And I also hate the blacks and the Jews"), Trish takes us to a confessional that finds her bemoaning, "This is just one more reaffirming fact of why I have a lot of guy friends. Because I don't deal well with the crap of girls." Karen tells us that Trish is worried because she has to do "damage control" on the date tomorrow. I could think of a wacky quip to follow up that statement, but it might take away from the fact that I just want to make fun of Karen's lipstick.
"Today it's important that I get some alone time with Jesse to clean up this mess that all these b-- girls have made," Trish tells us in prep for the group date. Since when is "girls" spelled with a "b" and an em-dash? When it's trying not to be "bitches," is when. I love it that Trish has been so castigated that she's forced to become the edited-for-television- version-of-Police-Academy- on-the-Superstation version of herself in order to survive.
An SUV gobbles up half of the world's natural resources without keeping anyone in it so much as one lick safer as it pulls up to...an elephant? Jesse and his group date walk into a hut of sorts and eat what looks like some kind of Mediterranean food. And they talk a talk of Jenny. You sing it now, Palmer: "It was being done for the right reasons." The girls who didn't cop to banging a married dude think Jenny did a great thing. Trish asks Jesse if she can talk to him privately. Karen sneers gleefully. Trish and Jesse retire to underneath a nearby tree of shame, where Trish tells him that she has "a past" and did some things when she was younger that she regrets. Which, if you're twenty-eight and you're not saying that, you're a Eunuch. Or a virgin. Either of which would carry with them some form of regret in their own right, so never mind. But Jesse has some questions as well: "I'd like to know why you got into dating an older gentlemen who was already married." Trish responds that it was "wrong," and that it just happened. Jesse asks if she and the married man slept together. No. He felt her up above the bra and then they stopped. Are you children? Of course it's reprehensible for her to sleep with a married man, and I pity that man and I pity his poor children and I pity his poor wife (now it's England 2, Colombia nil, and I know just how those Colombians feel) because really, once a cheater, always a cheater. But all of that notwithstanding, it's not a rational response to be less mad because she was in some way immorally involved with a married man that didn't result in a fully coital relationship. Jesse judges Trish and wonders what would stop that from happening again, saying that he doesn't think Trish took into account the feelings of the man's wife and the family. And, okay. Again, you can't sleep with someone who's married. Like, you can't. It's wrong. It's bad. It's actionable in a court of law. But it's ludicrous for Jesse to take for granted the response of the wife and the imagined "family," who might well not have existed. Maybe the couple had been married for two years and were legally separated and dating other people. Maybe not. But it's that faux-moral stance of "why doesn't anybody think of the children?" that makes this so platitudinous. And also, for the girls to be all "Isn't she disgusting?" is so sickly transparent that it borders on satire. As much as all of those women may be horrified by Trish's behavior, they'd be reacting the same way if they found out that one of the girls put the toilet paper on the roll in the inappropriate overhand fashion if they thought it would score them points with The Bachelor. It's outrage registered on an political scale rather than an ideological one, and that's just as gross as boffing some old dude in the first place. End rant. But seriously, kill me.