And then the knives come out for Shayne. "To me she was the falsest person here!" snaps Chelsea, and Matt half-heartedly defends her. I say "half-heartedly," because instead of saying "no, she isn't," he says, "to me, she wasn't." Then he crabs that if Chelsea thinks he would go through this and then wind up with the falsest person here, then she doesn't know him that well. Well, I agree with that last part, plus bonus Matt-is-a-douchebag points for turning this onto Chelsea.

They hug at the limousine. "I'm going to miss you so much," Matt lies. At least, for Shayne's sake, I hope he lying. In the limo ride, she calls Matt a fool.

Now Matt has been replaced by a wax statue holding a rose -- oh, hold on. That's actually Matt. He's standing there waiting for Shayne, and talking about how she's the warmest most genuine person he's ever met, and she's made him feel something he's never felt before. Except with all the other women, as he's led them to believe.

Chris escorts Shayne to the final rose ceremony. "I've never had my heart in a man's hands like this," she says in a talking-head. And goes on like this. Amazing. "If I lose him, I will be heartbroken."

OK, we're almost through this. Matt takes Shayne's hands and talks about her million-dollar smile and her big brown eyes. "There's been laughter, there's been fun, there's been kisses, there's been monkey." He talks about how he didn't come here just for six weeks, but to find someone for life. Good god, it's only been six weeks in real life? That's not even as long as the broadcast schedule!

He gets down on one knee, and Shayne goes all wobbly. "I love you," he says. "I love you," she squeaks. "Monkey, will you marry me?" he says. That's a big fat ten-four. They embrace, and then she says she'll marry him on one condition: that he never look at another woman for the rest of their lives, since he's looked at far too many over the course of their relationship. He promises.

And they we get a montage of them canoodling and kisses and what have you. I'd like to remind Shayne that an equally lengthy montage of Matt with 24 other women.

But good luck, and all that.