Bachelor
"Matt Faces an Excruciating Decision"

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Monkey, Will You Marry Me?

London. Shots of Big Ben. Matt tells us he's "chuffed to be back home," and I admit "chuffed" isn't a word I use often enough. He and Chelsea are going up into the London Eye, while he tells us they've had some ups and downs.

Chelsea can't believe she's here, and if she winds up with Matt, she might be here a while. So they go up in the Eye, which is a huge Ferris wheel with these little observation bubbles instead of the normal Ferris wheel seats.

And then they're off to meet the parents, as Chelsea explains that this could seal the deal. His brother Simon answers the door, and Chelsea is welcomed in by his parents, Trish and Tony. All Chelsea can think about is how since they're British, they're going to be proper. I guess she's never heard of hooligans.

At supper, Simon says she's expected to bring her "wellies," and Chelsea correctly identifies those as rain boots, and she reacts like she's won the Nobel Prize. Trish asks if a sense of humor is important to her. That's number one, says Chelsea. I imagine whatever characteristic Trish asked about, Chelsea would have said it's number one for her. I think it's a load of number two, myself. Simon, who looks like if Matt and Brian Austin Green had a baby, is quite taken with Chelsea. Trish seems to like her too, but says she doesn't really know Chelsea well enough to say. She grills Chelsea in the kitchen, and a clearly nervous Chelsea babbles on about being guarded, while Trish looks, probably wondering if she's ever going to shut her gob. Afterwards, Trish says she felt Chelsea was very open and honest, which isn't easy to do.

She says as much to Matt, and asks how she thinks how Chelsea would cope with his "mad family," like this is some kind of Benny Hill film. Matt says something about putting together pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Chelsea says her goodbyes, and in a voiceover says everything went as well ass she could have planned. Matt kisses her goodbye, says he adores her, and in a talking-head says he didn't want to see her go, and there was a voice in the back of his head saying he could be engaged to this woman.

How many more shots of Big Ben and Tower Bridge can we stand? Matt greets Shayne, who is on her first time in Europe, never mind London. They stroll by Hyde Park. "It's byoootiful here, Matt, oh my god!" she says, and other such inanities. Like it never occurred to her that London is an actual place, and not just the movie place where Austin Powers is from. They take a double-decker bus to his parents' home, where we go.

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