Bachelor
May The Best Ass Win

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Commericals. God, what's with all the girlie stuff? Oh right. Demographics.

We return back to the lake house. The editors just breeze past silly dinner preparation stuff and cut right to the meal. Aaron fucking explains to us that they fucking have fucking dinner. I should cut that out or this recap will start showing up when people do searches for porn. Alden asks Brooke what the process has been like. She says it's been hard falling for somebody who's dating other girls. Has she had any second thoughts? Aaron pipes up that she hesitated for a long time at one ceremony. I think she just did that for more camera time. She blathers on that it was just after they had their one-on-one date and she thought it was great and then she realized that all the other women may have felt the same way about their experiences and she's not making any sense and I don't care. She says she thought about getting out, because she was afraid her feelings were "getting real" and was worried. Kathy brings up Brooke's mom as the person who encouraged her to come on the show. No doubt she's worried about competition in the domineering-mother category. Everybody's rocking in the chairs again. Stop it. I'm getting sick. Brooke says that her mom wanted her to "have this experience" (I hope she's not expecting a "thank you card") and marvels at the odds that it would turn out that she would meet "the one," meaning Aaron. Alden asks if Brooke believes in fate. She says she believes that God has one person in mind for you, and that "if [she] hadn't come on this show, [she] wouldn't have met him." Yikes. Does that mean that God put the idea of this show in the producers' heads to begin with in order to get the two of them together? I'm beginning to rethink this concept of God being a benevolent entity. Alden asks what draws Brooke to Aaron. She can't explain it; she just knows.

Kathy brings up Brooke's prior engagement. Why didn't that work out? Brooke says that they started growing apart. He didn't support her going to college. Also, he cheated on her. Brooke tells us that this was a tough question. Why do these people think it's a tough question to explain why a relationship didn't work out? Maybe they mean it in the "emotionally draining" sense. Oh, and nobody ever asks Aaron to explain why his previous engagement didn't work out. Just thought I should mention that. Alden asks Brooke the same question he asked Helene about whether she could commit based on this short process. I am so sick of people talking about "the process." And besides, Brooke has already said that God put them together. She repeats the "If you know, you know" answer. Justin asks how she could possibly know in such a brief time. Brooke backpedals that you may not know enough to get engaged, but you know. Or something. Whatever. She can't exactly back off entirely, though, now that she's said that God meant for her to meet Aaron.

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Bachelor

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