This serves as a segue back to Brooke in Los Angeles. That was soooo fake. They totally made Helene say that so they could use it for the transition. Brooke heads into Harry Winston alone to try on engagement rings. She's getting sized in advance, so just in case Aaron decides to ask her to marry him instead of Helene, she'll be ready. It's all so romantic. A clerk helps her try on four different cuts. They're all very fancy, and I couldn't possibly care less. Jewelry doesn't even show up on my list of "Top Ten Thousand Things I Remotely Give a Shit About." I wore a gold chain for about three months in high school, until I realized that it didn't make me look any cooler. And an ex gave me a silver ring, which I wore for about six months. I haven't worn any jewelry since. ["I'm over here, married, with no engagement ring and a ten-dollar silver 'wedding band' from a Santa Monica head shop, so I feel you. I'm not responsible enough for fancy jewellery. Oh, and I'm also cheap." -- Wing Chun] Brooke and the clerk blather on about the color and the shapes and how the bigger ones mean he loves you more and blah blah blah. Brooke tells us that when she slipped on the first ring, it really hit her that Aaron might actually ask her to marry him. She points out that her hands are shaking. She says that all that she could think about was what it would mean if Aaron were to actually slide that ring on her finger. It would mean that you've all bought into a concept that a chunk of pressurized carbon worn on your hand is proof of emotional attachment. The guy who wants to marry me had better buy me something I can actually use.
Commercials. We return to the lakeside tax shelter. The wimminfolk start making dinner. Aaron fucking tells us that the fucking women are making fucking dinner. Helene's helping with the corn muffins and making a big deal about it. Jesus. They're just muffins. You mix stuff up and pour it into cups and put in the oven. I've been making muffins since I was ten. Get a grip. Aaron's brother and his wife show up. Helene fucking tells us that Aaron's fucking brother and his fucking wife show up. Their names are Justin and Tricia. I think Tricia's pregnant. Or else I just called her fat. Oh well. Like I care. Aaron explains to us that they were "high-school sweethearts" (gag) and have been together for nine years. He insists that this means that they were very skeptical about this whole TV-show thing. Whatever. Nobody here really cares one way or another, honestly. They're just trying to sell us on this idea that the opinions of Aaron's family members matter, because otherwise they're admitting that this entire first hour is a big waste. Which it is.