Bachelor
New Zealand

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Jeff Long: B | Grade It Now!
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Catch Me Now I'm Falling, And Falling, And Falling

He had an instant attraction with Melissa and we get to see all of it again. However, he's leery of girls like Melissa, because she reminds him of DeAnna and his ex. At first, he wasn't sure if she was ready to settle down, but she wants to be a first-grade teacher. Problem solved. Then, as his feelings for her were growing, he wasn't sure how she felt. So she melted down and starting bawling in front of him. Is that how we know someone has feelings for us? She tells him that she has "fallen" for him. Ew. But, her parents had the good sense to not appear on this show, so now he can't really make a decision about her without having met them.

As Jason, fully-clothed, is standing on a rock surrounded by water in New Zealand, he tells us that he has traveled half-way around the world to find love. He's in Queenstown, New Zealand and thinks it's the most beautiful place in the world. He's going to take Jillian, Molly, and Melissa on "three unforgettable fantasy dates." Do they need special glasses for that? He interviews in candlelight that these dates are important because they get to spend more time together. Most importantly though, they get to spend the night together. How clinical and unspontaneous and romantic. Jason says that he knows his wife is in this group of girls.

Jason picks Jill up roadside in a chauffeured helicopter. She thinks the chopper is a great idea. They are both wearing plaid shirts and jeans. She VO's that she is on top of the world because of the amazing CONNECTION that she and Jason have built. He gets out of the helicopter and they embrace like it has been years. Years! This Jason is a little too precious, right? He takes her into the helicopter and they are off on their date. The scenery is pretty amazing. Jason says that he is with the perfect girl for this date, ostensibly because she looks so gorgeous. That's a weird thing to say when you are wearing the same outfit. Jill says that she feels like the luckiest woman in the world. They land on a remote mountaintop with an amazing view. A picnic has been pre-set for them. Jill says that they are so lucky to experience such beauty while falling in love.

Jill asks Jason how he would describe her to his peeps back home. He says fun, gorgeous, exciting, and adventurous. He asks if that's how she thinks of herself. It is. He asks her the same question and she gives a long-winded version of "Nice guy that I'd like to bone." She VO's that their CONNECTION is amazing. She says that "it's safe to say" she is "falling in love" with Jason. She tells Jason that she is looking for her best friend and relays a story about her awesome grandparents as an example. Jason tells us that Jillian seems like a great friend, but he's looking for a more passionate connection. Uh-oh. He says that he wants more than a best friend. He's moving a little bit from precious to the dense or douche-y territory, yes? Oh my God, Jason says that he and Jill are on the edge of a cliff right now -- which is a literal manifestation of where their relationship is. Oh my. He says their next step is to see if they have passion. "Is it too much to ask for the world?" If you're asking, you clearly don't know the answer. But, for clarity's sake -- yes, it's too much to ask.

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Bachelor

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