Then they walk on a beach and make out and feed monkeys stand in the surf and make out some more during the sunset, and it's like twenty minutes of the most banal ruminations on love and marriage. I mean, even for this show. Lindsay decides she'd better tell Sean how she feels -- you know, removing the "falling" from "falling in love" -- because if she doesn't, one of his other girlfriends might get to have sex with him for a couple of months for the tabloids' benefit.

It's dinner time, which is happening in front of traditional Thai floats that suddenly light up, and apparently things went well enough that Lindsay is now saying she loves him. She's removing both the "falling" and the "in"! They reminisce about their date, and then it's time to talk about the future: Sean wants to know if, should they get engaged, she's open to moving to Dallas. It's funny the way he asks if she's "open" to it, as if he would ever considering moving to where the love of his life lives.

Lindsay assures Sean that she takes everything "very serious" [sic] and babbles on about how she's not going to take anything for granted, even how she's feeling, like WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, LINDSAY, and thank god that this death conversation is interrupted by traditional Thai dancers, and Lindsay is fretting again how if she doesn't tell Sean she loves him, she might never get another chance. Which is only true, of course, if he doesn't love her.

And then the Chris Harrison Pimp Card is brought out, with Sean and Lindsay both seeming to take extra care to explain that staying in the fantasy suite together is not about rumpy-bumpy but spending more time with each other.

So off they go to lounge on the bed and drink champagne and talk about how they want to marry their best friends. And Jesus, if you guys are best friends and aren't going to have sex, maybe flip on the Mario Kart or something and enjoy yourself. And then Lindsay tells Sean "I love you" and his response is to kiss her and say "I love hearing you say that" while the romantic music crescendos, and really the music should be something out of a Hitchcock film.