Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | 1071 USERS: C+
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Chunderstruck

Sitting down with Naomi, Jason clues her in to the fact that Natalie let on that there are some not very good people in the mansion, and Naomi deflects it and points out that all the women were waiting to see if Natalie came back, because that would really set the tone. Then she obliquely lets Jason know that she's only slept with one other guy before, and then they make out, and I'm reminded again of what a travesty this show makes of romance.

After Erica teases Naomi for missing some lip gloss, Nikki talks about how some of the other women have been a lot more intimate with Jason and how she wants to show him her "sexy side," which, considering what she's already shown, I'm worried is going to melt my television. They sit down to talk, with Jason horndoggedly complimenting her cleavage-baring dress, and he talks about how much he loves change, and Nikki pretends she loves that, too, only to about-face and admit that she's super-duper organized after Jason says she seems like the type to have everything labelled. She puckers up ridiculously awkwardly, like Napoleon-Dynamite-awkward for a kiss, and Jason guides her into something a little bit more genuine. Because only on this show is romance defined as, "This guy has been intimate with a lot of women recently, so I need to step it up and get intimate with him, too." In Nikki's defense, she says she hasn't kissed anyone but her ex-boyfriend in the past eleven years.

Now it's Erica's turn to sit down with him and ask him how he handled it when he wasn't sure if he was getting a rose. Jason points out that he never got a rose on a group date, which makes Erica feel better. Really? I'd like to point out to Erica that he also didn't get to put a ring on DeAnna's finger, so explain to me why you feel better now? Then she busts on him for checking out her boobs, and I'd also like to point out to Erica that if Jason were going on personality alone she would have been gone, like, before this season started. In an interview, Jason maintains that he was checking out the color of her dress.

Bachelor

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