Bachelor

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Chunderstruck

Now it's time for the group date, and Jason informs us that while yesterday was all about family, "Today is going to be a sexy date." Melissa's a little interested to see how the group dynamic differs from her one-on-one date, adding that she doesn't want to have to duke it out, but she will if she has to. Back at the house, Natalie says she's glad she didn't go on the group date because "all those girls are annoying," and she's pretty sure she's getting a one-on-one date. Natalie needs to be a little more aware of her own annoyingness.

So: the getting "busted" for a good cause means Jason and the women are going to get plaster casts made of their torsos, which will be auctioned off for Keep A Breast, which works for breast cancer awareness. All the women applaud. Jason goes first, which means he gets to do his nonchalant shirt-removing thing, and the women are mesmerized like a two-year-old watching someone jingle car keys. He needs to be slathered in baby oil so the cast doesn't stick to his body, and Melissa and Erica quickly volunteer to rub the man down.

So the breast cancer awareness is shoved aside in favour of Jason's hot-body awareness. "I like to stare at him," says Shannon. I can easily imagine Shannon standing in the bushes outside his house staring at him.

The women get naked behind colored screens, and in a couple of cases the silhouettes need to get fuzzed out. Jillian says she's really comfortable in her own skin and has no problem being naked. "I'm actually having a good boob day!" says Melissa. Shannon asks Jason to put the plaster on for some one-on-one time. "It felt good for him to rub on my body," she explains. Megan gets a little self-satisfied when she explains that she would do this in the middle of the street if it helps someone. At least Kari talks about her stepsister Ginger being diagnosed with breast cancer, and how it was nice to get to do something for her, so at least she's not focusing on herself or Jason's body. However, I'd like to point out that there's all kinds of opportunities to "so something" for breast cancer or any other charity without waiting for a chance to also get a husband out of the deal.

So the casts are all made, and now the women are designing the art that's going to feature on them. Megan wants to put a FETUS on her bust. In an interview, she calls the other women "shallow as the kiddie pool." Not only that, they "don't understand half of [her] depth or where it comes from." Well, when you say things like, "If everyone is going to have breast cancer, and our children can't breast feed, then our future is screwed," yeah, I'm pretty sure it's safe to say no one has any fucking idea where you're coming from. "Doing something so amazing for breast cancer is fantastic," says Jason. I hate to tell him that even if it's for a worthwhile cause, spending the day rubbing plaster on pretty women's naked bodies doesn't exactly make him Mother Fucking Teresa.

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