Bachelor

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Chunderstruck

She goes back to the group and tells them that Natalie said there were some not-nice people in the house, and the rest of the women take a break from talking shit about Natalie to cluck their tongues over how awful Natalie is for talking shit about other people. Megan piously says she would just bow out gracefully, so I guess it was another Megan who likes nothing better than to point out how not-ready all the other women are to be married or mothers. Shannon says she feels like she could throw up, and she looks like it too.

After the commercial break, Shannon has scurried off to her room, with a concerned Jillian knocking on the door to see if she's okay. Shannon appears to recover enough to be available when Jason wants some one-on-one time, which she then squanders by whining about how hard the last couple of days have been without face-time with Jason. She says last season when she saw him with DeAnna, she wanted to jump through the television, and she cried, and she wants to lie on the couch with him in her pyjamas and ask how his day his been, and other such I'm-already-way-too-obsessed-type of stuff. Jason tells her to "keep that going" because he is mean or an idiot. "I just want to be real. I'm real," she says. And how do you express just how ready you are to be a mother? Don't just say you're ready. Say you're "so" ready.

Jason has a boring conversation with Stephanie about how great the date was, and then she asks him to close his eyes, and she leans in and kisses him, and thanks him for the beautiful memory, and she goes on like this with the gratitude for Jason that I had to stop typing because I was throwing up too much.

In the group, Megan is talking about ... oh, who cares. Who REALLY cares. Someone comments that Lauren is being awfully quiet, and in an interview Lauren talks about how bad some of the women were upon finding out that Natalie was gone, and she hopes she gets a chance to talk to him.

Which she does! Megan decries all the trash-talking and backstabbing, by bitching about how she thinks Lauren threw her under the bus. Sure enough, Jason is asking Lauren, too, about exactly who are the mean bitches that Natalie was alluding to. Lauren says she doesn't see Jason with either of the two drama queens, Erica or Megan. Erica's immature and lives with her parents, she says, while Megan is just mean and Lauren is actually afraid of her. Like physically afraid and will wind up with a black eye if Megan finds out about this conversation, she explains. Oh, and also Nikki said that if Natalie had come back, she herself would have gone home. Lauren admits to Jason that if Megan or Erica is Jason's type, then she herself is not Jason's type.

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Bachelor

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