Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B+ | 1259 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Landing Strip

Limo 3. Vienna wants to feel his abs. And he lets her. He lets her! They just met. She says she has a two-pack he can feel later. Um, what? Is she drunk already? She does have the crazy eyes. Regardless, it's trashy and I like it! Corrie. Where'd she come from? Oh, Kissimmee. But she confuses him when he thinks she wants a kiss. Oh, Jake, if you are afraid to kiss girls, this is not the show to be on. Kimberly, from Oklahoma, wants to put their college football rivalries aside and does hook 'em horns. Valisha just got back from her family reunion in Texas, she's got a present for him. It's dirt! From Texas! Romantic! Gia, who walks out of the limo and looks at the camera before she looks at Jake, so clearly here for the "right reasons." She owns a hair salon in Manhattan.

That's the first 15 girls. Chris comes out to see how Jake's doing and get his first impression before unleashing the next 10. Limo 4. More squealing. Elizabeth from Nebraska asks if he's nervous, gets him to close his eyes and picture his favorite place. He says, right here, right now. She says hers is snowboarding, but he says he's a skier. How will they ever overcome that big difference? Channy greets him in Cambodian, and says he'll have to come find her to get the translation. Her dress is super short. Ashley is wearing one of those dresses her mom sent her, and says she has a broken picker, because she has a hard time picking a man. She pulls out a little spinning wheel with pictures of her on it to help him decide on her, or something. It's confusing. Tiana (the first words out of her mouth are "don't think I'm crazy," never a good sign) tells him that she and her friends have Bachelorette parties and she fell for him and said she'd marry him the second she saw him come out of the limo. Yeah, she's certifiable/desperate. Christina shows up with a big straw basket of jelly beans as a parting gift for the girls to take as they leave. Jake keeps making this weird pained face as these girls walk off. Inside, she tells the girls about her jelly beans, and it goes over about as well as you'd expect.

Bachelor

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