Bachelor

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Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Conveyor Belt of Love... I still can't believe that show really exists.

Jake and Chris deliberate. This involves rehashing all of the things he's said about being nervous and whatnot. The moment that sticks out most for him is Ashleigh in the flight attendant uniform. Chris asks him about Channy's Cambodian phrase. Jake admits he was speechless. Ali is horribly scared of flying, but he thinks he likes her enough to deal with it. They go through the girls, talk about crazy Michelle and then Chris leaves him at the wall to decide which girls he'll keep.

He comes out and thanks them all for being there. He says if they don't receive a rose, it is nothing personal... but it is. I mean, that's the whole point of this show. First to get a rose, single mom Ella. Then he doles out roses to Elizabeth from Nebraska (he calls her that, too!), fearful flyer Ali, googly eyed Vienna, bitchy jelly bean girl Christina, non-cooter shot Gia, stewardess/broken picker Ashley E. (how come she gets an initial and not a state?), trashy model Rozlyn. It is at this point that Michelle starts making a stink face. Then it's roses for gun registry Jessie, Corrie from Kissimmee, nearly invisible Valisha, other Ashleigh and fake fiancé Kathryn. There's only one rose left. My girl Elizabeth from DC hasn't gotten one. Sad! I'm hoping for her or Rory Gilmore... instead he gives it to Michelle?!?!?! The producers must have made him do that.

Tiana thinks Jake didn't have enough time to get to know her. Rory/Emily says that she's frustrated because she wanted to fall in love and get the fairy tale. She starts crying in her interview and has to walk away from the cameras. Kimberly says she's shocked because she thought she shared herself. I think she just didn't have the foresight to pack a stewardess outfit.

And with that we're out, with only a preview of the season to tide us over until next week. There's so much crying, and Jake storming out of a room. There's sailing and plenty of shots of Jake topless. I just can't wait for Daniel to come back.

In the outtakes, Christina asks the girls who has joined the mile-high club. No one admits to it. I'm skeptical.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then read about Jake's big Bachelorette moment in our Worst Moments Gallery!

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Bachelor

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