Bachelor

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Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Landing Strip

That's the first 15 girls. Chris comes out to see how Jake's doing and get his first impression before unleashing the next 10. Limo 4. More squealing. Elizabeth from Nebraska asks if he's nervous, gets him to close his eyes and picture his favorite place. He says, right here, right now. She says hers is snowboarding, but he says he's a skier. How will they ever overcome that big difference? Channy greets him in Cambodian, and says he'll have to come find her to get the translation. Her dress is super short. Ashley is wearing one of those dresses her mom sent her, and says she has a broken picker, because she has a hard time picking a man. She pulls out a little spinning wheel with pictures of her on it to help him decide on her, or something. It's confusing. Tiana (the first words out of her mouth are "don't think I'm crazy," never a good sign) tells him that she and her friends have Bachelorette parties and she fell for him and said she'd marry him the second she saw him come out of the limo. Yeah, she's certifiable/desperate. Christina shows up with a big straw basket of jelly beans as a parting gift for the girls to take as they leave. Jake keeps making this weird pained face as these girls walk off. Inside, she tells the girls about her jelly beans, and it goes over about as well as you'd expect.

Limo 5! Ashleigh trips and falls into his arms. She's a big, bouncy blonde with absolutely nothing to say. Kirsten tells him that Jillian was very stupid, and says that her best friend has something to share with him, and she'll tell him inside. Can't wait. Stephanie is a dance teacher and asks for the first dance. Sheila wears her sunglasses at night. She gives the aviators to him since together they are a pair of aviators. What? That doesn't even make sense. Michelle turns her arms into wings and pretends to fly over to him. She wants to become his co-pilot and wants to be one of his passengers. These ladies need some help with their metaphors. That's the girls. Phew. Jake tells Chris his wife is in there. Gag. That Dramamine isn't even coming close to helping

Now that we've met the women, it's time to play a little game that I like to call, who slept with the crew member? Since the big buzz this week is that someone gets kicked off for breaking the rules and slutting it up with someone off-camera, I've been trying to figure out which girl is that trashy. My money is on Rozlyn. Something about her bleached blonde hair, her fake personality and the "z" in the middle of her name just makes me wary of her. If it is Elizabeth from DC, I will be very disappointed in her. So far she's one of the few I like.

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Bachelor

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