Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Landing Strip

Chris comes back in and clinks a glass to get everyone's attention. They are bringing in some help for him to size up the ladies. It's Jillian, wearing a disco ball dress, and Ed, looking as dopey as he always does. Jake thinks that these two are a stellar example of how this show works out for people. Oh, please don't use these two morons as your role models.

Jake tells Ed and Jill that he's worried he'll let the right girl go. Ed says they'll help him vet out the losers. Jillian has a notebook and starts writing down her questions/thoughts on people. There's a random dance party when Jillian finds out that one girl likes to boogie. Jillian... some things just never change. I think the disco ball put her in the mood. Jake says that Rozlyn is sexy, and she asks him if he wants to have kids right away... with her. Subtle. These questions from Jill and Ed are so stolen from The Dating Game. "What kind of animal would you be in the bedroom?" Really? What decade is this again? Christina has Jake lay down on the ground and then tries to get him to do some Cirque du Soleil balancing tricks. Michelle starts telling Ed and Jill about her nervous breakdown. Don't TELL people you are crazy, Michelle. That's reality show lesson numero uno. Tenley has a list of ten things about herself that she reads to Jake. It's pretty trite and unoriginal. And then she says she wants to kiss him. He gives her a little peck. It's sorta cute, and annoying. She's almost boring enough to be the right girl for him. She then talks about how she's only been with one man before, and that was her ex-husband. She says she wasn't emotionally ready to kiss someone else. It was a peck! A peck!

Jake goes to Jill and Ed for advice. Ed likes Elizabeth from Nebraska because she's hot. Way to dig deep there, Ed. Jill likes single mom Ella. They both like Sheila the pilot. And they like Kathryn with the engagement ring. They don't think that's a red flag? They tell him that Michelle's too emotional. Well any idiot could see that. So I guess these two idiots were bound to figure it out. They hug him and send him on his way. Its time for him to hand out the first impression rose. He walks in and grabs it while a room full of girls sit there, and then walks out and then back in. Tricky, but not really at all. He pulls kissing fool Tenley aside for some one-on-one time. He gives her the rose, and the other girls are unimpressed and gossip about how she kissed him. Chris is back to pull Jake away. Michelle thinks that she's definitely part of the 15 girls staying. I'd says she's definitely among the 10 going home.

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Bachelor

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