Courtney actually stomps off saying, "Good look, Emily. Winning! I got a rose, you don't." I have lost count of the number of times she's quoted Charlie Sheen. She does it in almost every interview, Courtney pokes herself with her own rose and pretends to be surprised to see it and says, "Oh! I have a rose, and Emily doesn't!" Courtney CAN'T be for real, can she? She's like an annoying Kristen Wiig character, only she wasn't at least funny the first time.

While Emily commiserates with Monica, who we don't see tell Emily "told you so," just that she's going to be "Mama Bear" now. "Fuck her," she tells Emily. Courtney talks to the other women about how nasty Emily is. Then Harrison comes in to take Ben away to make his decisions, and Ben talks a bunch of nonsense about what a turning point this night is because of the emotions involved, whatever that means.

Anyway, the rose ceremony begins, with Harrison trying to make everyone feel like they didn't just waste a few days in Utah. Ben tells them that he knows that love is in his future, and then he starts handing out the flowers.

Lindzi. Jamie. She looks great tonight, and has been flying under the radar, given I have to keep checking her name on abc.com. Nicki's next. Then Kacie B. Then Elyse (also under the radar). Blakeley (who sighs in relief). Casey S. is next, and there's just one last rose, with just Monica and Emily left. After punishing Emily with an appropriate pause, Ben gives her a rose, and Harrison comes out to tell Monica to say her goodbyes.

She seems OK with it as Ben walks her out ... and then she's crying in the limo. She says the most painful thing in the world is being into someone who's not into you. She wants marriage, kids, all that stuff, but she's skeptical that it even exists anymore. Little surprised that she's this broken up by it, although maybe it's not Ben she's sad to be leaving, but Blakeley.

[Ed. note: In further Courtney bitchiness, when told that their next destination was Puerto Rico, she snottily noted that she was just there two months ago. Leaving Ben to upt a positive spin on that. Then she actually tried to one up the other women by bragging off that she could hoist her champagne flute higher than all the other girls. And she wonders why the other women don't like her. -- Angel]

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He's sorry about the beaver joke. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.