Welcome to Panama City (which is Panama, which makes sense). We get the cheesy airplane-flies-over-map graphic again, and then the women arrive at their new hotel and fling themselves on the beds and couches like they're claiming beds at summer camp. Courtney is already talking about skinny-dipping again, just in case you weren't aware of how much she likes to get naked on television. We hear "Panama City, Panama" about fifteen times inside of three minutes.
Ben himself shows up at the hotel to deliver the date card and talk about love being in the air, when I think it's more important to let the women know where they can get their antibiotics. Anyway, the date card is for Kacie B. (telling her to pack three things), much to Blakeley's chagrin. Courtney, of course, spins it to mean that he's trying to weed out the people he's unsure about. She also explains that the date can go one of two ways. Yep. That is how it works, Courtney. Kacie B. gets a little gobsmacked about how she could be engaged to Ben in a few weeks, which displays a surprising unfamiliarity with this show's actual success rate.
So they take a helicopter ride over the canal and out to a deserted island, while Ben broods about his fear that they've run out of things to talk about. Maybe you should talk about "putting yourself out there"! That's always interesting! So Kacie hauls out the three things she's brought. A stuffed monkey, a corkscrew, and a bag of candy. Ben has brought a machete, a fishing net, and matches. I guess we'll find out which is more useful on an island, matches and a machete or a STUFFED MONKEY.
Anyway, they go chopping coconuts, but no coconuts fall on their dingbat heads, and neither of them fall out of a tree, and no one loses a finger due to poor machete skills. Kacie B. seems to be taking this deserted island thing seriously like their LIVES are actually at stake. Ben babbles about marriage being all about "overcoming obstacles" and I have to agree that terminal stupidity is a major obstacle, and then they catch fish and drink wine -- must have caught the wine in the fishing net. Ben thinks he and Kacie are a "good little team." Then they get back in the helicopter and leave, while I still hold out hope for some kind of Black Hawk Down scenario.
Then they go for dinner and make awkward small talk while Kacie laments that she needs a little bit more than small talk, and at this point I'd give anything to hear people on this show talking about cracking a fucking book once in a while.









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