Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 138 USERS: C
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Nights of Whine and Roses

At this point I think I might have to reconsider my policy of giving every episode of this execrable show an F, because now I need a grade that's lower than what other episodes usually get. This is really making me angry. Sarah doesn't have to do it because she doesn't have to prove anything to Sean, to the show, to anyone. But of course Sean gives her a pep talk and she's all set to earn his approval, and Lord knows how Sarah ever made her way in this world before Sean came along to boost her self-esteem.

And then Amanda faceplants and we go to commercial with the medic en route and everything comes to a halt. The tension that's supposed to be building isn't really, given all the post-rollerderby interviews we saw Amanda doing, so we know she didn't fracture her jaw. But she's carted off to the hospital just in case.

And then instead of the rollerderby death match Sean had in mind, he announces it's going to be a free skate. And of course all the women credit Sean for being really sweet, but I guarantee you this is much more about the producers saying, "You know, Amanda broke her face in practice, so let's not get our asses sued with an actual roller-derby match."

And now it's off to dinner and drinks, and Sean is patronizingly "proud" of Sarah and talks about her self-accomplishment, and he pulls her aside so she can tell him how embarrassed she was today, and he can assure her that she doesn't have to be embarrassed about anything. Which is true, of course (well, apart from being on The Bachelor in general) but it's not like it's Sean who gets to decide that.

Tierra appears to be jealous of Sarah's alone time -- not to mention the attention Amanda got for falling on her face. Not that Amanda's above playing the sympathy card -- in fact, she relishes it, and she shows up at dinner to great fanfare, and Sean pulls her aside and kisses her chin boo-boo and then Amanda jokes to us that should have pretended to also get her tonsils out, and then sticks her tongue out and pretends to either be going in for the sloppiest French kiss ever or to swallow someone's soul.

Back at the house, there appears to be a woman named Daniella there and I don't believe we have seen her before, I think she's new this week. She's annoyed about all these date cards passing her by. "I'm fun, I'm outgoing, we could have romantic time together," she says, adding that she thinks Sean must have something big planned for her. She shouldn't get her hopes up. He's got the same thing planned for all of them, and whether it's big remains to be seen.

Bachelor

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