Bachelor
Bachelor

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Daniel: F | 33 USERS: C
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If We Don't Get A Rose, The Tierrarist Wins

Oh, and Tierra can't breathe, apparently. The EMTs wrap her up. Sean says he wants to do everything he can to help, but he's not a professional --- or an acting coach -- and he really hopes Tierra is OK.

Gritty handheld camera and dramatic music accompany the scenes of the medics carrying a shivering Tierra to an SUV. It's one of those totally serious life-threatening situations where the camera crews are allowed to get right up close to everything. Then the medics wrap her up and put her in a wheelchair and bring her into the hotel and get her a coffee or a hot chocolate or something. Miracle of miracles, she's doing better! At this point I'd like to remind everyone of Canada's socialized health-care system, so it would have cost literally nothing for a trip to the hospital just to be on the safe side, but again Tierra needs emergency medical attention but recovers in time to obviate the need for proper examination.

Catherine and Desiree run down to check on her. Desiree seems to buy the whole production. Catherine: "She literally had hypothermia. That's what she told us." Oh, Catherine, you dingbat. This is not hypothermia. This is Tierra feeling exactly as cold as the rest of them but milking it for Sean's attention. Lindsay, for one, is not buying it.

Sean comes to visit her, and Tierra pretends to be embarrassed by the whole affair, but apparently she's not too numb to make out with Sean, and it's great that the numbness she claims to feel in her extremities didn't prevent her from getting her makeup fixed or anything. Sean manfully declares that he's comfortable enough in his feelings for her that she doesn't need to come to dinner, since she should recuperate from her, cough, "hypothermia."

AshLee is happy Tierra's not going to be there because that's one fewer woman vying for Sean's attention at dinner, plus it's guaranteed to be drama-free. Lesley plans to let her guard down and let Sean know what her feelings are.

They sit alone together, and Lesley tells him it was "literally slow-motion" and this season has been a bountiful harvest of "literally" misuse, hasn't it? Sean tells her he loves her energy. "I just want you to know, I appreciate you so much," he says. He's really quite a poet, isn't he? Lesley's fooled, anyway. The two of them start kissing.

Then it's time for Sarah, who thinks everything has been so magical and perfect because fairytale romances always include a couple-dozen other women (one of whom is Tierra). She shows him childhood pictures, when she had a prosthesis so she could learn to crawl and tie her shoes, that sort of thing. There are pictures of her family. "Hearing her talk about her family was a reality check for me," says Sean, and I have no idea what that means. Oh, he wonders if he's ready to handle that. Listen, asshole, if you want a wife, you're going to meet the woman's family. This kind of sounds like he's preparing to dump her and is looking for an excuse. (Note after watching to the end: Told ya!)

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