And here we go again with the pretense that this show is risking dropping a couple of idiots to their deaths. Sean hopes that rappelling down the cliff eases all of Desiree's fears about where their relationship is heading. So they rappel down four-hundred feet, and it appears we're going to have to watch every agonizing inch of it. "It would be a lot harder if Sean wasn't here right now," she says. Actually, it would be a lot harder if the crew weren't here. And now Desiree is giving the requisite "ridiculous activity as marriage metaphor" speech that fits literally EVERYTHING they do on this show.

So they make it, and have their picnic, and kiss, and Sean patronizingly is proud of her and thinks she has a huge sense of accomplishment, like thank god Sean is around to always be helping women feel good about themselves. And now they are climbing a tree in the field and this is probably a fucking metaphor for relationships too, but I'm fast-forwarding again. And they are yelling "Hello, Canada!" and this caribou in a stream cocks its head, glares, and goes back to imbuing my home and native land with majesty and dignity.

And now it is night and they are walking through the annoyingly bear-free woods to a giant teepee because we might as well shit on as many cultural touchstones as possible in the name of The Bachelor. They sit by a fire and talk about how they can talk about anything, but I'm not sure it matters if all you talk about is how you can talk about anything. And Desiree says they didn't have money growing up and she lived in a tent for four months. "I think that's why I'm so humble," she says. Not to mention shameless! And it was embarrassing for her to be dropped off at the trailer-park when her friends lived in multimillion-dollar homes. But her parents taught her to put others first, or whatever, and she wants a house full of love. It's amazing that every single woman's upbringing turned her into the same woman: An empty shell who wants to marry Sean.

He picks up the rose, and says he had so much fun, and he knows there have been times when she's questioned where things were going, but after slowly dropping down a mountain and climbing a tree, they're totally copacetic, so she accepts the rose, and then they make out. I will say that I like Desiree more than a lot of the women here, which is why I think I would have preferred to see her escape Sean's boring clutches.