Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 142 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Phony! Phoni! Phoné!

Sean, getting ready for the cocktail party, whines about what an emotional roller-coaster the week was, and how he can see a future with Lindsay and with AshLee, but he's got question marks about Catherine and Desiree (because he doesn't want to marry into a family who didn't immediately treat him like the sun shines out of his ass.

So he sits down with Chris Harrison to talk about his favorite thing -- "clarity," and lack thereof -- and then Harrison horrifyingly asks if all four women are "literally on the chopping block," and I can forgive the idiot contestants on this show for that kind of thing, but Chris Harrison gets paid to say words at people. Unless this show is taking a really dark turn? In general, I'm against killing people, but this show has me open to different viewpoints. And then Sean is talking about how he's going to go deep undercover in Beverly Hills to solve the murder of his best friend, or perhaps I just turned on Beverly Hills Cop to pass the time until they're done with this filler.

Anyway, Sean tells Chris that he's trying to decide between Catherine and Desiree for elimination, and then we have to pad out EVEN MORE TIME by having Sean doing more reflecting after Harrison leaves, and then it's time to start the rose ceremony, but there's still like twenty minutes left in the show, which is kind of like when you're watching Law & Order and the jury's coming back with a verdict and there's still like fifteen minutes left. So we know something's going to happen, and it turns out it's Desiree -- when Sean picks up the first rose -- asking to talk to Sean outside for a moment.

They sit down on a bench, and she's practically in tears and says she wants to apologize for last night. He says she doesn't have to, and he's right, but mainly because I'm not sure why anyone has to apologize for saying, "You don't seem as into my sister as she's into you," since it's true. They go back into the rose ceremony, and now Catherine is "scared as hell" about what's going to happen.

The first roses go to AshLee and Lindsay, naturally. Sean picks up the last rose, waits for a few minutes, and then puts it down, before turning and walking out all moody to go and stare at the pictures of the women in the elimination room. Chris Harrison is summoned to be all, "What's up, man?" and Sean is talking about "clarity" again, and Harrison's hilarious advice to him is to "Get this right." Oh, and take your time, because there's no reason why this show shouldn't spend TWENTY MINUTES ON A ROSE CEREMONY.

Bachelor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP